Nature vs. Nurture When it Comes to Reality

Sometimes I wonder: What would I think of love if no one had ever told me what love is supposed to look like? Now that is a hell of a question and one that I'm not sure I am even ready/know how to answer, at this point; nonetheless, the musing was important, as it spurned me on to think up many questions of a similar nature.

 For instance: what would I think of the capabilities of my life, had no one ever tried to disarm my innate power? Would I have any limitations had no one ever tried to convince me otherwise? Or are these limitations merely self-imposed, unaffected by outside influence?

I know I am not really breaking new ground here: the old "nature" vs. "nurture" battle has been around as long as the "chicken" or the "egg",  but still, I think it's a worthy question pattern to engage in. The reason being, is that this force of society vs. individual shows up in every area of our lives, whether we can plainly see it or not.

To understand this, we must understand the way we come to know "reality". The outside world (including society at large, friends, family, acquaintances)'s opinions and viewpoints are what create reality for us. This may sound incredibly strange at first; I know it did to me when I originally learned the concept. I first heard of this in a sociology class I took my sophomore year of college  taught by a paunchy, brilliant, old professor by the name of Jon D. Miller . He taught from a book titled, The Social Construction of Reality by  Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann.

Though the books' concepts were fascinating, it was a bit of a slow read, so I'll save you the trouble and sum it up here: Reality does not truly exist, it is created. We all have a group of  "significant others"- Friends, family, teachers, etc., who create reality for us. As this group of significant others expands, so does our concept of reality or life. Every person you meet alters and expands your view of reality, conversely, the less people you meet, the more consistent and small your understanding of reality is.

Now, the depths of positive influence understanding this idea can breed, are limitless; but to name a few: more tolerance, love, and most importantly, self empowerment, can be fostered by understanding and controlling your view of what is real.

Oddly enough, the example that Professor Miller gave to explain this concept had to do with cutlery. The idea was that your parents could have feasibly told you your whole life that a spoon was called a fork, and a fork, a spoon. Then, when you entered elementary school for the first time, you would ask the hot lunch lady for a fork, when, in reality, you wanted a spoon. Upon receiving this, you would become confused and angry, wondering why this incompetent B with the hairnet gave you a "spoon" (fork) to consume your tomato soup with. Now, Jon D. Miller may have used slightly different terminology, being a distinguished, tenured professor, but it was something like that. Something so simple, yet, so mind blowing.

Anyway,...Long story short, this concept we have of reality is only something that we have been told and consented to believe is true. Over the years we have allowed people to tell us what life really is and what is practical and impractical. This includes everything. Including the limitations we have set on our own life path. In fact, I believe, most, if not all, of our limitations are merely opinions someone told us that, that we've taken to be an absolute truth.

Now here's the challenge/True question: what if we could eschew the reality forced upon us by our well meaning, but limiting, significant others, and open our lives up to all possibilities? Most of us have, or have had dreams that some would put on the scale of grandeur. Let us no longer view them as grandeur, but instead, look at them as our reality. If someone tells you otherwise, that's their understanding of reality, not yours.

 Since reality is socially constructed, anyway, who is anyone to say you can't go ahead and construct the reality you desire? It is my thought, that if we do this, we are making a verbal and visual contract with the Universe and God to help us achieve our dreams. People and opportunities will appear in your life to help you achieve your reality, because the universe desires to be in harmony with your thought pattern and will even create miracles to make it happen.

Believe your desired reality with an absolute persistence and tunnel vision--go toward it confidently until you reach it. Remember that there are no mistakes, for as the great Napoleon Hill of, Think and Grow Rich said, "Every failure brings with it the seeds of success." How true this is. If you believe and have undying persistence it's only a matter of time until you knock down all roadblocks and break through to your ideal destiny. In the meantime, you must believe it and desire it as if it were already the life you are living. Go for it, baby!

<3  Lo