The ability to change a life. It's something we all have within us. We have the ability to change and better not only our own lives, but also, those of others. Today I would like to take a moment to talk about a person who profoundly affected the human being I am today. Without him I have no idea where I would be. I've told him so many times that he bettered my life, but it's about time the whole world knows, or at the very least, the readers of my blog.
Now let's take a quick tram down memory lane: It was 1998, I had just finished second grade. Going into second grade I was confident, goofy, loud and quirky. I had a ton of friends and an enjoyment for school. Leaving second grade I was scared, insecure, lonely and the least myself that I have ever been in my life. What happened, you may ask? The simple answer is that I had a teacher that year who destroyed my self esteem. She took a bright, outgoing, self-aware child, and turned her into a cowering, shy and afraid one.
She made me feel stupid any time I tried to talk or answer a question, I felt completely voiceless and certainly unworthy of any praise. I would make up stomach aches so I wouldn't have to go to school. My Parents tried to help the best they knew how, but there’s only so much you can do from outside the classroom. I can honestly say this was one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult years of my life. I know it sounds strange to hear that about such a young age, but as anyone who has studied psychology, communication or just been alive knows, your childhood sets up the precedent for the rest of your life. The things that happen when you are but a babe can be the most jarring because you are innocent and don't expect the world to ever be cruel.
I have one vivid memory where we were all on the playground and I purposely isolated myself because I couldn't imagine why someone would want to play with me. When I think of this moment I just want to go back to my seven year-old self, give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay. It breaks my heart. While I was sitting there alone, my dear childhood friend Katie approached me and said, "Lauren, come play with us, we don't want you sitting alone." That moment always sticks out in my head as such a brave act of kindness from another person who was also only a child, and yet, had so much compassion, courage and empathy. Thanks Girl. Beyond that sweet memory, there aren’t a lot of terribly great ones from that school year, and it is absolutely frightful to think that I allowed someone to take away my power so easily. Now as a 7/8 year-old, most of us don't know much better than to believe that the superiors in our life are smart enough to tell us the truth, but it is still gutwrenching to me that I allowed that to happen.
So as you can imagine, I left this year feeling like I wasn't intelligent, with a low self esteem and not too excited about the thought of school. Fast forward through the summer where I had some fun in the sun, recovered a bit and got ready to enter third grade. Now, I don't know how it happened but somehow I got slotted into a class with a woman who was extremely harsh, not very generous of spirit and long-story-short, much like my teacher the year before. After a couple weeks of enduring her questionable teaching method, my parents and I realized this wasn't going to be okay to go through again. By the grace of God, we went in and had a meeting with the principal who recommended I switch classses to a guy named Mr. Swansey. Now at first I was all like, "What? A boy teacher? Dat be cray!" But then I started to think this Swans guy sounded like he was pretty top notch.
I still remember the first day of class. I had gotten up early, which so rarely happened, and got dressed in my third grade finest, which was probably a Nautica sweater and some stretchy slacks.* I remember I had the feeling of excitement about going to school for the first time in a very long time. Mr. Swansey welcomed me in and we started to talk. It was amazing, because even the environment of that class room was different. When students walked in the door, many of them gave me a hug and welcomed me to class. I felt comfortable and ready to rock for the first time in so long. This can be attributed solely to the type of classroom that Mr. Swansey had set up. He created a space in which students could be friendly and loving, a space where they could support one another.
On that day it was like my whole world flipped around. It was as if walking into that classroom injected the life back in me that has been sucked out the year before. I really believe it was that year, that I decided to be smart. To this day I would never say I am the most book smart person in the room, but I think I am often the hardest worker, which puts me right up there with the smartest. I learned with tenacity, drive and a bit of brain power, you can learn most anything you want to. I still remember the first time we did long division in that class. I was getting it! It made sense! I was so excited! I remember Mr. Swansey looked over my shoulder and said, "Look at Miss. LoGrasso go!" It makes me tear up to think back and remember how much it meant to me to be complimented on how well I was doing at something that I had never received good feedback for. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard at things that didn't come naturally, because I knew that if I worked hard enough, I could be good at it.
He was also the first teacher who made me realize I am writer. I remember I wrote some weird story about the Titanic and how I (Or whatever I named the main character--who was really just an alias for Lauren LoGrasso) was able to save the ship from sinking by going back in time and warning everyone about the looming bergs. He complimented me on it with such sincerity that I knew I had something going on that was special. Without that, who knows if I ever would have had the gusto to keep developing those skills and become the songwriter/sketchwriter/blogger/tweeter (Wink), I am today.
I remember doing these 100 word spelling tests in his class, three days in a row. They were really difficult. I made a deal with my Dad that if I got 100% on all of them we would go to Greenfield Village. I got 100 on two and 99% on one. I started crying because I thought my Greenfield village dreams were done for. Mr. Swansey, ever the rational one, told me in so many words that I was being ridiculous, that my parents are lovely people and would probably still take me even though I got one word wrong. He was right. I got to hang out at the Colonial wonder world all day long, and even learned a valuable lesson: it's okay to not be perfect as long as you always try your very best. That's what perfect really is, anyway, putting all the effort you can muster into being your best self. Not only that, but If I had not taken those tests, and gained the confidence that I knew how to memorize, and use the words correctly, who knows if I ever would have been able to recite a shakespeare monologue, learn and write songs quickly or even write this blog.
There are truly countless examples I could give of how this incredible educator changed my life, but the point I am trying to hammer home is that the things you teach kids, and the confidence you instill in them, directly affects their future lives. If I hadn't been taught these important lessons and life skills in the third grade, who knows if ever would have. You really can't take what I teacher does for granted.
To the teachers out there, whether you have a degree and teach in an elementary school, middle school or high school, do freelance tutoring or are just someone who leads by example in their everyday life, never take your job for granted. For in two simple years one teacher completely urraveled who I was, and another teacher picked up the tattered thread and sewed me back together even better than I was before. You have the power to make or break a student. Do everything you can to build them up.
Children understand how human beings are supposed to be: open-hearted, kind and always assuming the best in people. Help them to stay that way for as long as possible. Do not trap students into self fulling prophecies. Teach them to work hard, to respect and love one another, and to count on you. There is no profession more noble or important on this planet than to teach another human being. Teachers make the politicians, musicians, doctors, lawyers, peace makers, future teachers, etc., so therefore, they are all these things too. You are the modern day spiritual leaders. Teach the children love. For themselves, for their fellow human being and for the world at large.
To this day Mr. Swansey and I are still in touch and talk often. He came to most of my play performances in middle school, high school and college. He was my special guest at high school graduation as I gave a speech to my entire graduating class. He has been and continues to be my mentor and confidant and I hope from time to time I've even been able to be that for him. He has supported me from day one. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Mr. Rand Swansey. Without you I could not be me. You are my hero.
<3
Miss. LoGrasso :-)
PS- I think he also helped me become the loud mouth I am today because come spring he had to temporarily put my desk up against the chalk board, so I couldn't talk to the other students during class. This time I was isolated because I was too confident and talked too much. I said to him, "I feel rude not talking to someone when they start talking to me.”, and he told me I could say to them, "I am sorry, but I can't talk right now because I am trying to learn." Oh the difference a year and a great teacher can make!
*RIP Jacobsons which provided me with the entirety of my grade school closet
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Give Me Authenticity Or Give Me Death
Betrayal of oneself is possibly the most egregious spiritual crime. If you are willing to forsake your own soul for the sake of any seeming reward, then you have no chance whatsoever of being true to someone else. You cannot possibly see the road to happiness and fulfillment when you are focused on other's opinions and how to make your outward self more appealing. This need for outward validation is why we generally betray ourselves, right? We think: "I don't really want to do this", our intuition says, "this isn't right", but we go forth anyway, because we are worried about other's opinions and how we might look.
Why do we do this? In my own life, I have often betrayed my soul because I thought, "What will people say if I don't do this?" "Won't I be ashamed?", "Will I feel like a failure if I don't have monetary success?". The preceding questions exemplify the ego at its worst and most perilous state.
I have come to realize something: There is no greater shame than lacking the courage to follow your heart. Nothing is beneath me except being false to myself. That is far beneath me. And I hope it is beneath you too. There is no way we can possibly, respect, support, trust and love each other if we cannot do that for ourselves. All we leave this world with are our connections to each other: how we made each other feel and how well we loved. That is the only damn thing in this whole world that remains. Why take away this great spiritual gift?
I think about this in particular in regard to the feeling of shame society can bestow upon us for not having a high profile job. I really wish money didn't exist. I wish we could all be a bunch of hippies running around bartering, and focusing on following our souls. However, since it does, and since we live in a capitalistic culture we need to find a way to be validated by spiritual wealth instead of the fleeting physical wealth.
I know that if I had taken the "Natural Track" I could have a really nice, high-paying job, sitting in an office somewhere while my soul slowly withered alway along with my self-respect and passion for life. I would rather scrape around the world for years, going from vagabond job to vagabond job that surrender my soul to an institution I don't believe in. I know I will have success in the arts I am pursuing because I am doing it with absolute integrity and soul. Passion does not even begin to describe the way I feel about the messages I put forth through singing, writing, acting and teaching. Even if I end up in a place that's different from what I envisioned, I am one hundred percent sure that if I go forth with an open, honest heart, and with respect and honor for my deepest self, I will prevail.
Give me Authenticity or give me death! Really, if you aren't real with yourself, your happiness, light and love die. So while it sounds like an extreme statement, it's actually quite true. The only way we will find our path to enlightenment and love, lies within ourselves, not in anything physical we can conceive. So I challenge you all, as I challenge myself to focus on what's within: Nourish your inner self. Respect the being you came here to be. And for God's sake, be authentic. Everyone can smell a phony coming from a mile away and it's not too attractive. I really believe all the world's deepest issues start in self betrayal, so starting today, I ask you to be faithful to your soul. I can't wait to see the positive influence your honest and trustworthy self will have on the world!
Love,
Lo :)
Why do we do this? In my own life, I have often betrayed my soul because I thought, "What will people say if I don't do this?" "Won't I be ashamed?", "Will I feel like a failure if I don't have monetary success?". The preceding questions exemplify the ego at its worst and most perilous state.
I have come to realize something: There is no greater shame than lacking the courage to follow your heart. Nothing is beneath me except being false to myself. That is far beneath me. And I hope it is beneath you too. There is no way we can possibly, respect, support, trust and love each other if we cannot do that for ourselves. All we leave this world with are our connections to each other: how we made each other feel and how well we loved. That is the only damn thing in this whole world that remains. Why take away this great spiritual gift?
I think about this in particular in regard to the feeling of shame society can bestow upon us for not having a high profile job. I really wish money didn't exist. I wish we could all be a bunch of hippies running around bartering, and focusing on following our souls. However, since it does, and since we live in a capitalistic culture we need to find a way to be validated by spiritual wealth instead of the fleeting physical wealth.
I know that if I had taken the "Natural Track" I could have a really nice, high-paying job, sitting in an office somewhere while my soul slowly withered alway along with my self-respect and passion for life. I would rather scrape around the world for years, going from vagabond job to vagabond job that surrender my soul to an institution I don't believe in. I know I will have success in the arts I am pursuing because I am doing it with absolute integrity and soul. Passion does not even begin to describe the way I feel about the messages I put forth through singing, writing, acting and teaching. Even if I end up in a place that's different from what I envisioned, I am one hundred percent sure that if I go forth with an open, honest heart, and with respect and honor for my deepest self, I will prevail.
Give me Authenticity or give me death! Really, if you aren't real with yourself, your happiness, light and love die. So while it sounds like an extreme statement, it's actually quite true. The only way we will find our path to enlightenment and love, lies within ourselves, not in anything physical we can conceive. So I challenge you all, as I challenge myself to focus on what's within: Nourish your inner self. Respect the being you came here to be. And for God's sake, be authentic. Everyone can smell a phony coming from a mile away and it's not too attractive. I really believe all the world's deepest issues start in self betrayal, so starting today, I ask you to be faithful to your soul. I can't wait to see the positive influence your honest and trustworthy self will have on the world!
Love,
Lo :)
Friday, March 1, 2013
A Soul Too Big For My Body
I've heard quotes from famous theorists who say our goal on this Earth is to find a way to expand our soul to its maximum potential, while it's still contained in our physical bodies. Here's the problem I'm having with that goal: Sometimes I feel I was given a soul too big for my body. A soul that will make my body break into a million pieces if it expands to its largest potential.
For my whole life it seems to have been bursting at the seams, begging to be let out, to be set free, to be seen separate of this flesh that has long held it back. It could have been split between many different bodies and possibly been okay. But to love so much and so deeply, and to be begging for freedom all within the confines of one lump of flesh is sometimes more than I can bear.
Perhaps the burden of soul, so large can be alleviated if we can come to see that having many passionate desires is not a bad thing, as many would have us believe, but rather, a blessing. I've decided that my goal is to live many mini lives within this large one. I think my thrashing soul is an opportunity to do just that. So rather that feeling insane for having so many things that you love, and for loving them all so deeply, we can take that deep love and apply it to living a fuller life. Fear not, colossal souls of the universe: There's a place for you. There's a place for us all.
Nothing but love,
Lo
For my whole life it seems to have been bursting at the seams, begging to be let out, to be set free, to be seen separate of this flesh that has long held it back. It could have been split between many different bodies and possibly been okay. But to love so much and so deeply, and to be begging for freedom all within the confines of one lump of flesh is sometimes more than I can bear.
Perhaps the burden of soul, so large can be alleviated if we can come to see that having many passionate desires is not a bad thing, as many would have us believe, but rather, a blessing. I've decided that my goal is to live many mini lives within this large one. I think my thrashing soul is an opportunity to do just that. So rather that feeling insane for having so many things that you love, and for loving them all so deeply, we can take that deep love and apply it to living a fuller life. Fear not, colossal souls of the universe: There's a place for you. There's a place for us all.
Nothing but love,
Lo
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Dating Food For Thought
I've realized recently that if you love people enough, and are open enough, you can have a romantic relationship with almost anyone. It doesn't mean you should, though, and it also doesn't meant that, that person is your best match. Be sure to decipher the difference between a person who you have warm feelings toward as a human being, and someone who you have an authentic spark with. This is something to keep in mind as you go about your days in search of a proper mate. I need to remember this, also. Loving people is great, but you have to possess the wherewithal to know the difference between a general love of humanity and that extra punch that a genuine connection packs. Hit me baby one more time.
Blessings,
Lo
Blessings,
Lo
Monday, February 11, 2013
62 Years of Love
My Grandparents were married for 62 years before my Grandpa passed away this past January. I wanted to share a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa on his 70th Birthday. This small bit of writing alone gives me faith that the love we have all dreamed of exits in the world. Read up for inspiration:
Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible.
This birthday gives me a chance to thank you for the miracle of you. You are & always will be the love of my life forever.
Happy Birthday with all my love,
Elida
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
Happy Birthday with all my love,
Elida
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
And now one from Grandpa-->
From Your Sweetheart Larry
TO ELIDA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, ON HER 70TH BIRTHDAY
MAY YOU HAVE INFINITELY MORE YEARS TO COME.
You always have given yourself to your family & others. Your love, understanding, time, labor, making drapes, shears, curtains, etc. Baby sitting your Grand children doing for your Family and Other's. We all love You.
I remember the first time I set eyes on you at Harry & Almas where Joe was playing at the time. You came in with Santa & Co. I was with someone else at the time. I was mesmerized with your beauty. It was love at first sight. I knew then I would marry you if you would have me. Proof of that was that I proposed on our second or third date. I always thought love at first sight, was a lot of bull, but believe me, it wasn't.
I might have been the bull, but you were the
Matador. You put the Sword in my heart for life. They used to Call me
the Sicilian Sword, when I was young, but my northern Italian Beauty got
my heart forever. You have given me 5 Wonderful Children and five (6
now) Beautiful GrandChildren. You have given me 46 years of love,
encouragement, friendship, companionship.
You truly are my Love, Best Friend, my Ginger Rogers Dance Partner.
I would be lost without you. I hope and pray that we can dance the Lindy together till we are 100+ years old. I love you with all my heart. P.S. Even when you get after me for my T.V.'s, Pitney Bowes/Insurance supplies and 28 File Cabinets and my procrastination.
I would be lost without you. I hope and pray that we can dance the Lindy together till we are 100+ years old. I love you with all my heart. P.S. Even when you get after me for my T.V.'s, Pitney Bowes/Insurance supplies and 28 File Cabinets and my procrastination.
Love,
Lar The Sicilian Sword :=)
Grandpa, A Life Of Love
Hello Friends,
This is going to be more of a bloggy-blog. I think. I just want to talk about where I’m at. Honesty is key. I want to talk about my Grandpa, mostly.
So life has thrown many twists and turns. My Grandfather passed away and it really put things into perspective for me. I was not prepared for the gravity the loss of one of my primary connections would have on me. I never pictured life without him. He was so strong, I always sort of thought he would just last forever. So I have to say, this event really made me realize, and internalize the fact that everything on this physical plane is temporary. Anything you can touch can be destroyed. But the connections we make, the love we give and the kindness we extend, these things are eternal.
It was truly amazing to see all the incredible connections my Grandpa had made in his life: how many beautiful stories we heard from all the people whose lives he touched just by being who he is. From his Children, to his friends, to the waitresses who served him at his favorite family eatery, everyone had a story about how Lorenzo Ribaudo touched their lives, made them laugh and treated them with kindness and respect. His motto was always, “treat people the way you would like to be treated and God will repay you Tenfold."
So often we scramble from objective to objective trying to achieve as much as we possibly can when it comes to our careers, fitness, status, etc. But the fact is, if we could just focus on our relationships many of our objectives would fall into place anyway, and possibly at an expedited pace.
Take my Grandpa. I am pretty sure his greatest goal in life was to meet and love as many people as he possibly could. He could talk to anyone. He was a man who would say hello to the workers in the sewers (manholes as we call them in Michigan..Is that just a Midwest thing?) when walking down the street. That literally happened. As he walked by them he would shout into the sewers, “Hey guys, how are you doing down there?” It didn’t matter if you were the CEO of a company or a man working underground, my Grandpa wanted to talk to you. He understood that the most important thing we can possibly do on this planet is to connect with each other.
Every success he had came as a result of his personal relationships and the fact that he had a deep, genuine desire to help his fellow human being. He really had his priorities in line. I think I need to remember this more. A lot of times I get down on myself because I feel I have not accomplished enough in my life, but I’ve had a lot of realizations lately and one of them has been that we leave this world with nothing except the love that we gave and received. I think I have done pretty well with this so far, but perhaps have lagged a bit on the love lately, getting wrapped up in the tangible world. I need to get back to people, and everything will come from there. Love for my fellow human being is my number one goal. If I have that, I have all.
All we have are our relationships. Every beautiful thing on this earth has come from a place of deep love and desire to feel more connected to each other, so if we can give into and honor that desire, that is when we will do our best work anyway. Good thought, right?
Something else I’d like to touch on is the way my Grandpa loved my Grandma and vice versa. They were married for 62 years and loved each other through each and every day of it. He always described the first time he saw her as an, “Out of body experience”, and said that he fell in love at first sight. He said he always thought love at first sight was a "bunch of bull", but then he saw my Grandma and changed his mind. He proposed to her on the second date, saying, “from the minute I saw her, I knew I had to marry her, if she’d have me.” I am pretty sure they got married only months after that.
Of course my Grandma was crazy about him too, (I’ll share part of a letter she wrote him for his 70th birthday at the end of this, and in a separate blog post, because it deserves it), they were truly soul mates. It was good to see and remember that true love does happen in the real world. As we go through dating and disappointments, it’s easy to become disillusioned and willing to settle for much less than we’ve dreamed of. Shouldn’t the fact that a love like this exists in real life encourage us to hold out for something greater than what we think possible? It did that for me.
Their love created five children and six Grandchildren. They Built a house together. They Ran and built up their finances together. True love builds and grows, it does not destroy and shrink. It brings you happiness and comfort, not sadness and fear. Even through illness, cognitive issues, and, yes, wobbly times, my Grandparents had all the good parts of love, every moment they were together. Up until the last day my Grandpa would call my Grandma, his, “bride”. Their love was amazingly beautiful, pure and honest.
There are really just so many amazing things about him that I could speak of, but the last one I will comment on here is how he always made people feel special. This is one idea that came up quite often through his funeral, that no matter who my Grandpa was talking to, he always made them feel like they were the special one. I think that is an incredibly important thing to do when interacting with others. It gives into that deeply human desire we all have to be seen, to be heard and to feel valuable. The people in our lives who shape us and make us better people, are incredibly precious gifts and deserve to be treated as such. Grandpa always made sure that everyone he loved knew he loved them. I will carry this lesson deep in my heart and nourish all that I know with the fruits of my knowledge.
Even though the loss of my Grandfather has left a gaping hole in my heart, the encouraging thing is that his legacy gets to live on in us. It’s exciting that his lessons have been understood and that because he taught us well, we will be able to carry on the spiritual riches he attained while on Earth. And being that I am a deeply spiritual person, I feel with every piece of who I am that my Grandpa will continue to find a way to be with us and protect us from a higher, more powerful place than any of us on this Earth could understand.
So this one’s for you, Lorenzo, may you rest in peace, and may your lessons live on in us. I will do everything in my power to make you proud. Love you forever.
Love,
Lauren :=) <-- This is how my Grandpa used to draw smiley faces on the handwritten cards he would give us at holidays and on our birthdays. Two nostrils, very important detail. I’ll miss it.
Part of a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa:
Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible.
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
This is going to be more of a bloggy-blog. I think. I just want to talk about where I’m at. Honesty is key. I want to talk about my Grandpa, mostly.
So life has thrown many twists and turns. My Grandfather passed away and it really put things into perspective for me. I was not prepared for the gravity the loss of one of my primary connections would have on me. I never pictured life without him. He was so strong, I always sort of thought he would just last forever. So I have to say, this event really made me realize, and internalize the fact that everything on this physical plane is temporary. Anything you can touch can be destroyed. But the connections we make, the love we give and the kindness we extend, these things are eternal.
It was truly amazing to see all the incredible connections my Grandpa had made in his life: how many beautiful stories we heard from all the people whose lives he touched just by being who he is. From his Children, to his friends, to the waitresses who served him at his favorite family eatery, everyone had a story about how Lorenzo Ribaudo touched their lives, made them laugh and treated them with kindness and respect. His motto was always, “treat people the way you would like to be treated and God will repay you Tenfold."
So often we scramble from objective to objective trying to achieve as much as we possibly can when it comes to our careers, fitness, status, etc. But the fact is, if we could just focus on our relationships many of our objectives would fall into place anyway, and possibly at an expedited pace.
Take my Grandpa. I am pretty sure his greatest goal in life was to meet and love as many people as he possibly could. He could talk to anyone. He was a man who would say hello to the workers in the sewers (manholes as we call them in Michigan..Is that just a Midwest thing?) when walking down the street. That literally happened. As he walked by them he would shout into the sewers, “Hey guys, how are you doing down there?” It didn’t matter if you were the CEO of a company or a man working underground, my Grandpa wanted to talk to you. He understood that the most important thing we can possibly do on this planet is to connect with each other.
Every success he had came as a result of his personal relationships and the fact that he had a deep, genuine desire to help his fellow human being. He really had his priorities in line. I think I need to remember this more. A lot of times I get down on myself because I feel I have not accomplished enough in my life, but I’ve had a lot of realizations lately and one of them has been that we leave this world with nothing except the love that we gave and received. I think I have done pretty well with this so far, but perhaps have lagged a bit on the love lately, getting wrapped up in the tangible world. I need to get back to people, and everything will come from there. Love for my fellow human being is my number one goal. If I have that, I have all.
All we have are our relationships. Every beautiful thing on this earth has come from a place of deep love and desire to feel more connected to each other, so if we can give into and honor that desire, that is when we will do our best work anyway. Good thought, right?
Something else I’d like to touch on is the way my Grandpa loved my Grandma and vice versa. They were married for 62 years and loved each other through each and every day of it. He always described the first time he saw her as an, “Out of body experience”, and said that he fell in love at first sight. He said he always thought love at first sight was a "bunch of bull", but then he saw my Grandma and changed his mind. He proposed to her on the second date, saying, “from the minute I saw her, I knew I had to marry her, if she’d have me.” I am pretty sure they got married only months after that.
Of course my Grandma was crazy about him too, (I’ll share part of a letter she wrote him for his 70th birthday at the end of this, and in a separate blog post, because it deserves it), they were truly soul mates. It was good to see and remember that true love does happen in the real world. As we go through dating and disappointments, it’s easy to become disillusioned and willing to settle for much less than we’ve dreamed of. Shouldn’t the fact that a love like this exists in real life encourage us to hold out for something greater than what we think possible? It did that for me.
Their love created five children and six Grandchildren. They Built a house together. They Ran and built up their finances together. True love builds and grows, it does not destroy and shrink. It brings you happiness and comfort, not sadness and fear. Even through illness, cognitive issues, and, yes, wobbly times, my Grandparents had all the good parts of love, every moment they were together. Up until the last day my Grandpa would call my Grandma, his, “bride”. Their love was amazingly beautiful, pure and honest.
There are really just so many amazing things about him that I could speak of, but the last one I will comment on here is how he always made people feel special. This is one idea that came up quite often through his funeral, that no matter who my Grandpa was talking to, he always made them feel like they were the special one. I think that is an incredibly important thing to do when interacting with others. It gives into that deeply human desire we all have to be seen, to be heard and to feel valuable. The people in our lives who shape us and make us better people, are incredibly precious gifts and deserve to be treated as such. Grandpa always made sure that everyone he loved knew he loved them. I will carry this lesson deep in my heart and nourish all that I know with the fruits of my knowledge.
Even though the loss of my Grandfather has left a gaping hole in my heart, the encouraging thing is that his legacy gets to live on in us. It’s exciting that his lessons have been understood and that because he taught us well, we will be able to carry on the spiritual riches he attained while on Earth. And being that I am a deeply spiritual person, I feel with every piece of who I am that my Grandpa will continue to find a way to be with us and protect us from a higher, more powerful place than any of us on this Earth could understand.
So this one’s for you, Lorenzo, may you rest in peace, and may your lessons live on in us. I will do everything in my power to make you proud. Love you forever.
Love,
Lauren :=) <-- This is how my Grandpa used to draw smiley faces on the handwritten cards he would give us at holidays and on our birthdays. Two nostrils, very important detail. I’ll miss it.
Part of a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa:
Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible.
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
Monday, January 7, 2013
A Short Blog About Love
There are certain people in this life who you’ll always love. And it doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. Nor does it mean you’re supposed to be together. It just means that they taught you something--that you gave them a piece of your humanity, and didn’t ask for it back. You weren’t greedy in your love, and neither were they. You may not be able to talk, or at least not talk much due to the nature of the way your relationship ended. And you’ll miss that friendship, but you know that’s the way it’s meant to be. And that’s sad, and that’s hard, but that’s life. And you know that if you saw each other you’d both just be looking in one another’s eyes for the person you used to be when you were together. Over time feelings fade, and people change, but you’re still grateful for what was, grateful for the special bond you had. The point is: True love is never lost. It is never wasted. It's just that it sometimes manifests differently than you expected, and as you grow, you learn that’s okay, too.
Love you.
Lo
Love you.
Lo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)