A Short Blog About Love

There are certain people in this life who you’ll always love. And it doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. Nor does it mean you’re supposed to be together. It just means that they taught you something--that you gave them a piece of your humanity, and didn’t ask for it back. You weren’t greedy in your love, and neither were they. You may not be able to talk, or at least not talk much due to the nature of the way your relationship ended. And you’ll miss that friendship, but you know that’s the way it’s meant to be. And that’s sad, and that’s hard, but that’s life. And you know that if you saw each other you’d both just be looking in one another’s eyes for the person you used to be when you were together. Over time feelings fade, and people change, but you’re still grateful for what was, grateful for the special bond you had. The point is: True love is never lost. It is never wasted. It's just that it sometimes manifests differently than you expected, and as you grow, you learn that’s okay, too.

Love you.

Lo

2012: A Year Of Lessons; 2013: A Year of Action

2012 was a year full of lessons. I had some accomplishments, but mostly, I learned. I am grateful for those lessons, and I'll tell ya what, I am going to take these lessons and run with them, because God knows it was hard enough to learn them once, I don't want to do it again! 2013 is about enacting the powerful truths I learned through the toils of 2012, so that I can have a more successful and fulfilling life. Sound good? I suggest you do the same!  Now I will share some of the most important information I learned this year!

Lesson #1: Honesty is the way:
 Only when we are being honest with ourselves and others will we find our way to authenticity, and therefore, happiness. It does not serve our lives or our art to sugar coat our reality. In order to find our way to happiness, we must stay positive, yet, honest. This is a lesson I cherish and will keep with me forever.

Lesson #2 I am an artist:
 I know that calling yourself that can sound hoity-toity or asshole-ish, but I want to create, and share my creations, and I have no apologies for that. You shouldn't either. It is a great travesty that it took me 23 years to realize that my eccentric self was screaming to be let out of its cage into some sort of creative achievement. Ever since I have been writing here, writing and performing music, writing comedy, my soul has felt free. I have only just begun! What an exciting Journey!

I spent 23 years trying to fit into the box of Musical theatre and wondering why in the hell it was so hard. BECAUSE MY VOICE IS TOO FULL OF SOUL TO BE CONTAINED BY ANY ONE JASON ROBERT BROWN SONG! It makes so much sense that I have found my voices' full expression in playing and writing music that came from my heart! Shout out to Jordan Leer-I am so grateful for his talent and the fact that we both love music as much as we do! LoJo and The Truth (our Band) is going global in 2013! We are starting a new journey and that's exciting and scary, but I've never felt more strongly about anything in my life.

As for acting, it is still my greatest joy and passion, but I am done with trying to fit into roles the way I think someone wants me to. I am going to bring my unique outlook to it. I've spent too long trying to fit into the box. And also, I am sorry, but if my adoptive mother, Fran Drescher can be a leading lady, then so can I. I will just be an interesting one as opposed to a boring talking stick. You cool with that, Hollywood? I hope so. Because it's happening. In this town "Best friend type" seems to be code for interesting, funny and curvy...Let's change that in 2013 to "Awesome Type". I'm not trying to pretend that cast types don't currently exist in a certain way, but it's my goal while I'm in this town to change the current depiction of them!

Also, Shout out to my girl Casey Shipman-Her and I have some great sketch comedy ideas going and also are starting a weird, awesome and completely US comedy band Called, GrassMan, sure to put out hits that are both disturbing and hilarious in 2013. Check us out! So great to find a fellow kindred spirit who is just as goofy as I am! 

Writing is the portal to the soul. When my fingers hit the keyboard or pen hits the paper, I can let out a sigh of relief that whatever was trapped in my heart is no longer in control of me. It feels so great to be able to share what's on my mind and heart and it feels awesome to know that there are so very many of you out there who not only understand what I'm going through, but also, who are on a similar path.

#3 If You Don't Have Your Spirituality, You are going nowhere, especially not down a path of Happiness:
This is my personal thing, not saying it applies to everyone, but the moment I get out of touch with God and my fellow human being, my life goes to shit. Lesson learned. Also your relationship with God, just like any other relationship, is one you have to work on! Do it, LoGrasso!

#4 You Can't Control Anyone But Yourself:
This lesson has been important in dealing with issues with family and friends where I tried to help, but got nothing back. At the time I felt crushed that the people didn't take the advice I had given them, especially since I thought it would better their lives. But it was very egotistical of me to think I knew what was best for them. So I backed off and everyone was happier--sometimes you just need to detach until that person can solve the problem on their own. That's okay, you know? It has to be.

#4.5 It's Okay if Someone Doesn't Like Me:
I am also learning how to be okay with someone not liking me. I find myself to be a rather agreeable person who probably likes people more than the average human being. So when I've been perfectly nice to a person and they don't seem to feel the same way toward me, it's hard to understand. I even had one of my closest friends in LA this year just stop talking to me without any explanation, when I hadn't done anything to them that I knew of. They didn't even respond when I asked them what, if anything, I had done to anger them. It was really hard for me to deal with and I took it pretty personally. But I think their actions say more about them than they do about me. I am learning to let things like this go. This is an on-going lesson, but I'm sure I'll get it! It's hard to love people so much, but it's so very worthwhile in the long-run.

#5 Needless Procrastination is Fear Taking Physical Form:
I have found myself delaying contacting important people, putting off going to auditions or taking classes, procrastinating on cleaning my apartment, etc... All of these things would have taken relatively little energy and most of the pain is in the build up. In 2013 I intend to power through the build up and seize the day!

#5.7 As Nike Tells Us, Just Do It:
This is really a reiteration of #5, but if there's something you want to say, say it, if there's something you want to do, do it, if there's a place you want to be, go there. We often say, there's always tomorrow, but honestly, sometimes there isn't. I don't mean that as darkly as it sounds, but it's just that sometimes the window of opportunity closes more quickly than we would like it to. If you see something you want staring you in the face, grab it...Too often we tie our own hands and let our fate pass us by! The truth is if we don't do something now we might lose the chance to do it, ever. I am over the build up, I just want to go for it! 2013, a year of action and achievement, let's go!

#6 In Conclusion:
Though over all this year has been full of ups and downs, for me, and, I know, for many of you out there: the hardships we faced will not go to waste if we take those lessons and turn them into power! Let's be our best selves this year and achieve everything we set our minds to and even more!

I believe in you and me!

LET'S GO!

<3 Lo!

The Importance of Acknowledging Darkness

It is a blessing to have a positive outlook, if, and only if, coupled with that you are honest about the emotional state you are in. 

I am here to admit something, folks. I’m a positiveaholic. Admitting it is the first step, or so I’m told. In college I learned about something called the “Pollyanna Effect”. The Pollyanna effect, Based off the popular anime cartoon, The Story of Pollyanna, a Girl of Love, is the habit of taking the all occurrences in one’s life and spinning them into something positive. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful to be able to see the light in any situation, but never acknowledging darkness can be just as disastrous as an inability to see light.*

In an attempt to be more honest in my life and my work, I am going to share something with you: It has been a tough couple of months. A couple of months filled with confusion, relationship shifts, a car accident, family trauma and on top of that, trying to be a functioning and successful human. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve managed. 

Now in my life, I have, or at least have worked very hard to be, a positive person who brings light and love to the world. It is my belief that every soul has a different intention and I really believe mine is to bring the aforementioned light and love. Everything stems from there: every lesson, every vocation, every relationship. Including the difficult things I have to deal with. A lot of the problems I face are more difficult because I have built a life based upon love: so when the world meets me with a cruel situation, my first instinct is to turn it around and spin it into one of love. Sometimes I’m right, but sometimes it’s wildly contrived and wrong.

I am coming to understand, that this unyielding positive outlook isn’t always a good thing. It does a soul no good to pretend that the bad things you are experiencing aren’t actually happening. On top of making you feel crazy, you are unable to learn, which is our number one goal while in these physical bodies. If you can’t learn, then you can’t grow, which will ultimately inhibit you from being your best self and giving and receiving the purest forms of love. This is because when you close yourself off to what you deem to be negative emotions and situations, by default, this blockage carries over to the positive emotions and situations. So you are really only living a half life. Half lives should only exist in chemistry, and even then, it’s debatable. 

Even though I have been trying with all my might to love with the strength and fervor I know I am capable of, I haven’t been able to because I have not been allowing myself to feel the pain that I needed to feel. My new goal is to accept, acknowledge and deal with any and all emotions and situations in my life. Not to judge, deny or control, because these verbs always lead to trouble. I will let life’s unpleasant situations play out, I will acknowledge them, without dwelling on them, and learn from them. I will not forget what got me to the place where I felt that way. I will take the lesson of out it, and I will move on with the peace of mind that I don’t have to experience the same thing again if I make different choices, or, if I do end up in that situation, I’ll know how to deal with it more effectively. Then, I believe, I will experience real-life positivity. I will have a positive outlook with a foundation that makes sense, rather than something that is falsified because that’s how it’s “supposed” to be. 

I always want to be an optimist, but I think I will be a stronger optimist once I am able to accurately define how I feel and learn from it without having to shield myself or the world from my true emotional life. It will be honest optimism, not optimism masking pain, which is just bullshit. If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s another liar, so I am vowing to be more honest with myself and with you. 

Also, it took a lot of courage to write this down and now to share it, so I am proud of myself. This realization is a huge stride on my slow, yet steady, marathon to self actualization.

Thank you for reading. I hope you can support me on this journey, and know I support you on your path to self, wherever you may be. 

Sending you love and light,

Lolo <3

*I decided to bold/italicize the things that I really need to remember, and that might be helpful to you, also :-)

I Believe The World Is Getting Kinder

People always talk about how the current generation of the country will be the end of the world as we know it, but I think for the fist time in a long time, people are wrong.

Though, maybe it’s not the first time in a long time? It seems we’ve always been building up to how we are today, which means people have been getting increasingly better as the years go on. Each generation has been inching toward acknowledging a need for shared rights between all people.

If anything, I think this country (and the world, at large) is getting kinder—or at the very least, conscious. It seems we are at least aware of the turmoil that surrounds us, and the impact our choices have on each other and our planet. The increase in human rights we’ve seen over the past one hundred years is proof, alone, that we are starting to become less egotistical: that we’re becoming more concerned with the happiness of our fellow human being than our own power.

The strides we’ve taken and continue to take for civil rights, women’s rights and gay rights are all very encouraging to me. These strides have taken a total reconstruction of the common thought and a hell of a lot of courage. The lawmakers and citizens who have fought for them needed to put themselves and their reputation as, “well-thought-of individuals”, on the line in order to do what was right. That, my friends, is what I like to call: gutsy kindness. Can’t get enough of that stuff!

Wonderfully enough, it doesn’t stop with these particular human rights. There are kindness ambassadors springing up everywhere for many different causes! I am very encouraged by the different sorts of activism I’ve noticed taking off around the country and beyond. From veganism and vegetarianism, to fighting against animal cruelty, to environmental groups, to veteran support, to serving the poor and homeless…The list goes on and on. Needless-to-say: I am constantly inspired and in awe of the giving hearts of my fellow people.

Even in cases such as Kony 2012, which, from what I understand, turned out to be a bit of a sham, I can say I am proud of the fact that so many people felt so inspired to speak out for their sisters and brothers in different countries who are suffering. I feel that people are starting to understand the most important piece of the puzzle in our human experience: That we are all only mirrors of each other and that only love is real. When you hurt, I hurt, and vice versa. This makes me believe the levels of empathy and perspective taking are increasing, as well, which, are key factors to people dolling out kindness with such generosity.

So call me a cockeyed optimist! Call me a fool. Just don’t call me Sally. I’m kidding. Call me Sally the most. But honestly, as much it can be easy to get discouraged by certain experiences in life, when I think of all the good and all the beauty there is in the world, it brings me to tears and propels me to move forward with an open heart. We are so lucky to live in a time when there is so much love, generosity and benevolence everywhere we look!

Maybe I’m a hippie, or maybe I’m just aware. You can decide what you think of me, if you care to judge. But I think it’s pretty inarguable that for a country that began with bringing a group of people here by force and enslaving them, while running a simultaneous genocide of the native people of this land, and basically keeping any person who wasn’t a white male away from any real rights, we have come a LONG way. I am proud. Go America! Go World! I can say from experience, it’s a lot less exhausting and far more inspiring to be aware of and grateful for all the good in the world. It makes one feel alive!

I appreciate the kindness today and am excited to see what tomorrow brings!

Sending you love,

Lo

Have Gratitude Now: It's The Little Things

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So this is slightly belated, but:

Happy Gratitude Day! What are you thankful for? Personally, I am most thankful for all the love in the Universe and for the ability to learn. I am Thankful for everything that has ever happened to me and everything that ever will. With each life event we have the opportunity to learn, grow and make our lives and the way we love more successful. I feel I have done this and I pray I will have the courage to continue to do so.

I am so thankful for all the people I’ve met on life’s path; for those who have faded away, those who have stuck around and for those who are yet to come: you are the loves of my life and I am extremely lucky to know or to have known you. Even when someone first seemed to be more of a nuisance than a blessing, I can honestly say every person I’ve ever met has taught me something and/or challenged me to find a deeper way to love. Thank you: I love you.

Of course, with that being said, I am most thankful for the people in my inner circle: my friends and family mean the world to me and I feel so blessed to have so many beautiful souls in my life.

I am grateful that I am unique and unwilling to compromise on who I am. I know there have been times in my life that have been more difficult due to my quirky soul, but I also know that being the person I am has helped others become comfortable with being their weird selves. I am thankful for this and very proud to be a goof. If you ever hide who you are, you are cheating the world from seeing your unique light. That's not fair to us. Shine on, babies, shine on.

I am thankful to love so much and so deeply. Though at times this, too, has made my life more challenging, it has also made it more rewarding. I know that whatever I goal I go toward in life, I’ll work to achieve it with the whole of my soul. I am glad that while I’m in this physical body, I’m getting as much out of life as I can! Similarly, I am thankful to have so much that I’m passionate about. I am grateful to love and be a part of art. I am glad that I dedicated my life to the arts at such a young age and that I've stuck with it through thick and thin.  I am thankful for my instincts, perseverance and belief in the power of a dream.

And, of course, I am thankful for my health, and the fact that I have all the materials I need to survive on a physical level. It is so easy to get down on ourselves for not having what we deem to be the perfect body, a stunning wardrobe, or the most gourmet food and drinks, however, we must focus on what we do have. I would like to thank my legs for carrying me around, my arms for conducting tasks big and small, and my face for the ability to smile through all of life's trials and tribulations. I am thankful that I have clothing, shelter and sustenance. Even small things cannot be taken for granted. Let us not wait until we lose something to appreciate the many blessings in our life. Have. Gratitude. Now.

Finally, I am thankful for you. I appreciate you: whoever and wherever you are. I am truly grateful that you are taking the time to read what's on my mind and track my path road to success. Know that wherever you are, I am sending you love and wishing that you attain the courage to achieve your dreams. I believe in you.

In love and Thanks,

Lo :-)

There is more power in promoting something you love than ridiculing something you hate

This blog might be brief because it is a simple thought, yet, it is so important.

In the wake of the election, and just a time, in general, when we are polarized on so many issues, remember: it is a more efficient use of your time to promote something you believe in than to fight against something you despise.

I need to remember this as much as anyone. I am certainly guilty of brining attention to issues and candidates I disagree with. When most of us see something that we don't like it is our first instinct to say that it is bad and why we think it is bad. This isn't very constructive, is it? Rather than giving energy to a negative thought and a force you find to be incongruous with your life thesis, why not bring energy and positivity to something that gives you hope and lines up with your beliefs?

Good thoughts attract more good thoughts, as bad attract bad. The more energy you give to fear and hate, the more prevalent they become in the world.

So in these last days before the election, for every time you feel compelled to say why you hate one candidate or another, try to think of the opposite, positive attribute you like in the opponent and state that instead. It might make this whole battle a little less bloody and a little kinder. For as we know, if there's one thing politics isn't lacking, it's negativity. Why add to that? Let's annul it. How?? As always, focus on the love.

Love,

Lo

Women's Rights And Voting This Election

Something sprung me into action today, folks. I'm usually not one to get too political, wishing to respect every person’s viewpoint, and, as always, I do, but something needs to be said, and more importantly: Something needs to be done. 


Today I was when I working at my yoga studio as a Zen Ambassador (front desk receptionist, but as a PR lady, I know how to spin things), one of our students had a pin on that I'll post below. It said, "We will do it again! Obama Biden" and had a picture of Rosie the Riveter on it. I happen to be supporting Obama in this election, and I have always supported Rosie the Riveter, so I commented that I loved her pin. 

With that, she said the pin was mine. Generous dame, she was. I was then commenting on how important it is to vote in general, thinking of the women who were killed, imprisoned, beaten and starved in order to get us the right. This is huge; so if there's anything you take from this, ladies, even if you disagree with my personal viewpoint, please vote! Just do it. Don't disrespect the women who came before us, it's a slap in the face to the trauma they endured to get us the right to waltz right up and mark up that ballot. DO IT!


So back to the story: we then spoke about the Lily Ledbetter Equal Pay Act and how absurd it is that someone could object to a law that would make our female citizens stand on equal ground with our male citizens. Then she said something to me that really shook me up and I'm paraphrasing here, I guarantee you whatever she said had much more power, but here goes:

"I'm 75 and I thought after we fought so hard in the 60s and 70s this battle was over. I never thought I'd have to fight again, but in the last year there has been some of the most sexist material and propaganda (speech, literature and laws) that I've seen in my whole life. We have to keep on fighting"

WOW. This was shocking to hear. In my gender communication class we spoke about the backlash that occurs after a minority group gains power: could we now be experiencing a backlash 30-40 years in the making?

Is this happening now because we allowed ourselves to forget? We allowed ourselves to stop fighting, thinking what we had was good enough? I, for one, am not satisfied with making significantly less than my male coworkers; but what have I honestly done to fight this besides being a good employee? Nothing. Working hard is not enough, we have to take to the streets and remind people that we are worthy of TRUE and LITERAL equal status when it comes to the dolla dollar bills (yallz) and all things.

I have wanted to fight for women's rights since high school and looked up some organizations once or twice, but put it off, declaring I was too busy. Well, no more. We cannot put off being equal citizens any longer. This is serious. When there is a candidate who will unabashedly denounce the right to equal pay for women, coverage on birth control, the right to choose, the Affordable Care Act, which requires insurance coverage for preventive services like mammograms& cancer screenings, and more, I cannot abide.

Some of these issues are the very reason women were able to rise up. Did you know there was a direct correlation between the advent and use of the birth control pill and women's prominence in the workplace? When we can control our reproductive system, we can control our professional lives. How can we support someone or something that wants to take this away? Because here’s the issue when it comes to someone being against a woman’s right to reproductive control: all the signs point to root of the desire being to take away power and clout from the female population. That’s a sizable issue in my book. The book of Lo.

We’re all entitled to our personal views on birth control. I personally am against abortion. I couldn’t do it except in an extreme situation. But I think that it is a choice every woman should have a right to make on her own, since the fetus is technically a part of her body until it comes out. It’s also about the fact a government that should not be able to control a person’s body. That is not their place.

Back to the cause of women’s rights: I stand by my usual tenants of love and peace. Of course everything will be done with love and with the hope to make a more loving, fair and peaceful planet. I have no anger in my soul, only a passion for justice, and a deep, unconditional love for people and for equal rights. Everyone should be able to start out on equal footing regardless of race, gender, religion or any other characteristic that we delude ourselves into thinking separates us.

Of course, it doesn't stop with women's rights. There are many other things to fight for. This includes, but is not limited to: Gay Rights, Minority Race Rights, taking care of the poor, Health Care, cleaning up our food, taking the chemicals out of household products, and so many other things that I truly believe will make a kinder country and make us more able to help other countries. If we heal the hurt within this nation's walls (holler to Hawaii and Alaska, also- we love you kids and we didn't forget about you just because you're not technically in our walls!), just think of the kind of help we can offer other Nations.

I think with the current state of the Nation, it starts with voting for candidates that support laws that produce compassionate results: whether it is the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act or anything else, just think about what a candidate saying yes or no to these laws says about them as a human being, and then think about whether or not you would want them ruling your country.

I hear people say, "bleeding heart liberals" a lot. But shouldn't our hearts be bleeding? I know I've been alive a relatively short period of time, but I know enough about the world to know it's in a state of disarray and has been for a while. There is enough pain and suffering going on right now that everyone I know is going through something no matter how tiny or how large. This goes beyond politics and into the need and outcry for more compassion in the world. I think the Democratic Party is doing a better job at this right now, but I am not saying that Democrats are infallible. In fact, I voted for a couple of Republicans (GASP!) based on their personal viewpoint and issues, so I am still open to everything and attached to nothing.

Back to the point: I’m not thrilled with everything Obama does--in a perfect world we wouldn't need parties, we would just do what's right. But as far as doing what's best for a majority of Americans (AND HELLO: WOMEN ARE A MAJORITY- 50.8% according to the 2011 USA Quick Facts from the Census Bureau) I think that at this juncture, he is doing a much better job. It is just unthinkable to me that as a sensible human being you'd allow yourself to vote for someone who would purposely take away basic rights from your daughter, wife, sister, friend or lover.

Think about it. 

                                                              Here’s the Pin:

Love,

Lolo