I want to rid myself of this looming veil of sadness I always seem to carry with me. I regret to say that this wallowing feeling has been present in even my brightest moments. I guess it's not that it was present, but rather, that I knew it would return. Is that case, perhaps it was me that inserted it back into my life with my subconscious mind. Is this feeling part of being an artist? If so, I think I'd prefer to be a Buddhist artist. More zen. Best of both worlds...I wish I wanted something simple sometimes.
And honestly, it's not like this undercurrent of feeling even really bothers me. It certainly doesn't interfere with my everyday life. It's more of a dull ache that can be lived with forever. The worry is that it is keeping me from leading my BEST, most productive life. I'd rather just do some emotional physical therapy and work it out, so that I can get to the root of it and rid myself of this feeling forever. The truth of it is, unproductive emotions really have no place in a mover and shaker's existence. I see glimpses of true, pure happiness, and even bliss, but if you let the negativity creep in for even a second, it can be fairly easy to find yourself on a roller coaster of destructive thoughts.
One method to rid yourself of this, I think, is to feel what you need to feel, but recognize when you're creating something that isn't there or wallowing in an emotion that should have passed. I also notice this feeling tends to crop up when I try to control something that is out of my hands. I've written and theorized about this before, but clearly I need to reexamine it. The feeling that I had the ability to control something that turned out with an undesirable outcome provides an easy path to beating yourself up. As I always say, cliches are cliches for a reason, and if we can just learn to let go, let God, I think we can find our way to a more stable happiness. We simply need to acknowledge what we don't have power over and make sure to always do our best in every situation. If we can do these things honestly, then I feel the road to contentment will gently lay itself out in front of our feet.
This is something I am going to work on: acknowledging what I can and cannot control, and striving to do my best in every situation. I think this is a start.
More later!
Over and out,
Lauren :-D
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Lessons Learned From Eavesdropping
I have a confession to make: If you are talking within 10-15 feet of me, I will eavesdrop. I don't look at it as nosy, so much as, looking for insight into the human experience. And quite frankly, if you really didn't want me to hear, you would have either moved farther away or spoken in a softer voice.
So here's the deal: I am sitting at my job at the Yoga Studio minding my own business (sort of), doing my zen ambassador thing (aka, being the receptionist), when these two ladies post up on the notorious yoga studio bench and start hashing out the past 10 years of their dysfuncitonal relationships. This is fine. It's common. It's something we've seen and had modeled to us throughout the years in various Films and Television shows, namely Sex In The City. But as I sat there, I couldn't help but wonder*, isn't there an age when the bullshit ends, and we just grow the fuck up?
These women are in their forties. They have lived through a significant portion of life, and undoubtedly, relationships. Why is the conversation still the same as it was when they were sixteen?
Now this is something I am asking myself as a 24 year-old woman, but I feel if I were 44, working through the same issues, it would be a constant question ringing in my head. I have to think that if you are continually having these problems with dating and relationships, at a certain point, it comes down to the way you are picking and a lack of willingness to learn from your past experiences.
This pattern of refusing to learn from past pain is actually rude to yourself. It's saying, "Hey, self, I know you went through some really tough stuff in the relationship before this, but I am going to be a jackass to you and forget all of the hurt you went through. I am going to ignore the warning signs, and continue on, because, it's better than being alone, right?"
Wrong. No. If you haven't taken the time to sift through your past entanglements and question what there was to learn, then you shouldn't be jumping into another. The way to be a better person, to have good communication, and to choose a healthy partner, is by dissecting your past experiences and asking why.
So I guess the answer I am coming to is, no, there is no logical reason to be repeating the same dating patterns you engaged in when you were a young girl in your mid-to-late adult life (and even in your early life), unless they worked for you. Futhermore, if you keep experiencing these unpleasant courtships, then there must be some part of you that is addicted to the drama. I suggest exploring that.
But I couldn't tell those chicks what I was thinking, because they didn't even know I was listening. But they totally did. Hopefully they don't know I am blogging, though. Can I get sued for this?
Anyway, I am vowing here to learn. Because I don't want to be 40-something, sitting on a yoga bench, having some 24-year-old listen to my conversation and go home to write a blog about me. I also want to be happy. When you know better, you do better. You understand.
Alright, over and out!
<3 Lolo
*Shout to Carrie Bradshaw who said that phrase in every episode and also made the same mistakes over and over again when she should have just figured it out.
So here's the deal: I am sitting at my job at the Yoga Studio minding my own business (sort of), doing my zen ambassador thing (aka, being the receptionist), when these two ladies post up on the notorious yoga studio bench and start hashing out the past 10 years of their dysfuncitonal relationships. This is fine. It's common. It's something we've seen and had modeled to us throughout the years in various Films and Television shows, namely Sex In The City. But as I sat there, I couldn't help but wonder*, isn't there an age when the bullshit ends, and we just grow the fuck up?
These women are in their forties. They have lived through a significant portion of life, and undoubtedly, relationships. Why is the conversation still the same as it was when they were sixteen?
Now this is something I am asking myself as a 24 year-old woman, but I feel if I were 44, working through the same issues, it would be a constant question ringing in my head. I have to think that if you are continually having these problems with dating and relationships, at a certain point, it comes down to the way you are picking and a lack of willingness to learn from your past experiences.
This pattern of refusing to learn from past pain is actually rude to yourself. It's saying, "Hey, self, I know you went through some really tough stuff in the relationship before this, but I am going to be a jackass to you and forget all of the hurt you went through. I am going to ignore the warning signs, and continue on, because, it's better than being alone, right?"
Wrong. No. If you haven't taken the time to sift through your past entanglements and question what there was to learn, then you shouldn't be jumping into another. The way to be a better person, to have good communication, and to choose a healthy partner, is by dissecting your past experiences and asking why.
So I guess the answer I am coming to is, no, there is no logical reason to be repeating the same dating patterns you engaged in when you were a young girl in your mid-to-late adult life (and even in your early life), unless they worked for you. Futhermore, if you keep experiencing these unpleasant courtships, then there must be some part of you that is addicted to the drama. I suggest exploring that.
But I couldn't tell those chicks what I was thinking, because they didn't even know I was listening. But they totally did. Hopefully they don't know I am blogging, though. Can I get sued for this?
Anyway, I am vowing here to learn. Because I don't want to be 40-something, sitting on a yoga bench, having some 24-year-old listen to my conversation and go home to write a blog about me. I also want to be happy. When you know better, you do better. You understand.
Alright, over and out!
<3 Lolo
*Shout to Carrie Bradshaw who said that phrase in every episode and also made the same mistakes over and over again when she should have just figured it out.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The Most Important Profession: An Ode To My Third Grade Teacher
The ability to change a life. It's something we all have within us. We have the ability to change and better not only our own lives, but also, those of others. Today I would like to take a moment to talk about a person who profoundly affected the human being I am today. Without him I have no idea where I would be. I've told him so many times that he bettered my life, but it's about time the whole world knows, or at the very least, the readers of my blog.
Now let's take a quick tram down memory lane: It was 1998, I had just finished second grade. Going into second grade I was confident, goofy, loud and quirky. I had a ton of friends and an enjoyment for school. Leaving second grade I was scared, insecure, lonely and the least myself that I have ever been in my life. What happened, you may ask? The simple answer is that I had a teacher that year who destroyed my self esteem. She took a bright, outgoing, self-aware child, and turned her into a cowering, shy and afraid one.
She made me feel stupid any time I tried to talk or answer a question, I felt completely voiceless and certainly unworthy of any praise. I would make up stomach aches so I wouldn't have to go to school. My Parents tried to help the best they knew how, but there’s only so much you can do from outside the classroom. I can honestly say this was one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult years of my life. I know it sounds strange to hear that about such a young age, but as anyone who has studied psychology, communication or just been alive knows, your childhood sets up the precedent for the rest of your life. The things that happen when you are but a babe can be the most jarring because you are innocent and don't expect the world to ever be cruel.
I have one vivid memory where we were all on the playground and I purposely isolated myself because I couldn't imagine why someone would want to play with me. When I think of this moment I just want to go back to my seven year-old self, give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay. It breaks my heart. While I was sitting there alone, my dear childhood friend Katie approached me and said, "Lauren, come play with us, we don't want you sitting alone." That moment always sticks out in my head as such a brave act of kindness from another person who was also only a child, and yet, had so much compassion, courage and empathy. Thanks Girl. Beyond that sweet memory, there aren’t a lot of terribly great ones from that school year, and it is absolutely frightful to think that I allowed someone to take away my power so easily. Now as a 7/8 year-old, most of us don't know much better than to believe that the superiors in our life are smart enough to tell us the truth, but it is still gutwrenching to me that I allowed that to happen.
So as you can imagine, I left this year feeling like I wasn't intelligent, with a low self esteem and not too excited about the thought of school. Fast forward through the summer where I had some fun in the sun, recovered a bit and got ready to enter third grade. Now, I don't know how it happened but somehow I got slotted into a class with a woman who was extremely harsh, not very generous of spirit and long-story-short, much like my teacher the year before. After a couple weeks of enduring her questionable teaching method, my parents and I realized this wasn't going to be okay to go through again. By the grace of God, we went in and had a meeting with the principal who recommended I switch classses to a guy named Mr. Swansey. Now at first I was all like, "What? A boy teacher? Dat be cray!" But then I started to think this Swans guy sounded like he was pretty top notch.
I still remember the first day of class. I had gotten up early, which so rarely happened, and got dressed in my third grade finest, which was probably a Nautica sweater and some stretchy slacks.* I remember I had the feeling of excitement about going to school for the first time in a very long time. Mr. Swansey welcomed me in and we started to talk. It was amazing, because even the environment of that class room was different. When students walked in the door, many of them gave me a hug and welcomed me to class. I felt comfortable and ready to rock for the first time in so long. This can be attributed solely to the type of classroom that Mr. Swansey had set up. He created a space in which students could be friendly and loving, a space where they could support one another.
On that day it was like my whole world flipped around. It was as if walking into that classroom injected the life back in me that has been sucked out the year before. I really believe it was that year, that I decided to be smart. To this day I would never say I am the most book smart person in the room, but I think I am often the hardest worker, which puts me right up there with the smartest. I learned with tenacity, drive and a bit of brain power, you can learn most anything you want to. I still remember the first time we did long division in that class. I was getting it! It made sense! I was so excited! I remember Mr. Swansey looked over my shoulder and said, "Look at Miss. LoGrasso go!" It makes me tear up to think back and remember how much it meant to me to be complimented on how well I was doing at something that I had never received good feedback for. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard at things that didn't come naturally, because I knew that if I worked hard enough, I could be good at it.
He was also the first teacher who made me realize I am writer. I remember I wrote some weird story about the Titanic and how I (Or whatever I named the main character--who was really just an alias for Lauren LoGrasso) was able to save the ship from sinking by going back in time and warning everyone about the looming bergs. He complimented me on it with such sincerity that I knew I had something going on that was special. Without that, who knows if I ever would have had the gusto to keep developing those skills and become the songwriter/sketchwriter/blogger/tweeter (Wink), I am today.
I remember doing these 100 word spelling tests in his class, three days in a row. They were really difficult. I made a deal with my Dad that if I got 100% on all of them we would go to Greenfield Village. I got 100 on two and 99% on one. I started crying because I thought my Greenfield village dreams were done for. Mr. Swansey, ever the rational one, told me in so many words that I was being ridiculous, that my parents are lovely people and would probably still take me even though I got one word wrong. He was right. I got to hang out at the Colonial wonder world all day long, and even learned a valuable lesson: it's okay to not be perfect as long as you always try your very best. That's what perfect really is, anyway, putting all the effort you can muster into being your best self. Not only that, but If I had not taken those tests, and gained the confidence that I knew how to memorize, and use the words correctly, who knows if I ever would have been able to recite a shakespeare monologue, learn and write songs quickly or even write this blog.
There are truly countless examples I could give of how this incredible educator changed my life, but the point I am trying to hammer home is that the things you teach kids, and the confidence you instill in them, directly affects their future lives. If I hadn't been taught these important lessons and life skills in the third grade, who knows if ever would have. You really can't take what I teacher does for granted.
To the teachers out there, whether you have a degree and teach in an elementary school, middle school or high school, do freelance tutoring or are just someone who leads by example in their everyday life, never take your job for granted. For in two simple years one teacher completely urraveled who I was, and another teacher picked up the tattered thread and sewed me back together even better than I was before. You have the power to make or break a student. Do everything you can to build them up.
Children understand how human beings are supposed to be: open-hearted, kind and always assuming the best in people. Help them to stay that way for as long as possible. Do not trap students into self fulling prophecies. Teach them to work hard, to respect and love one another, and to count on you. There is no profession more noble or important on this planet than to teach another human being. Teachers make the politicians, musicians, doctors, lawyers, peace makers, future teachers, etc., so therefore, they are all these things too. You are the modern day spiritual leaders. Teach the children love. For themselves, for their fellow human being and for the world at large.
To this day Mr. Swansey and I are still in touch and talk often. He came to most of my play performances in middle school, high school and college. He was my special guest at high school graduation as I gave a speech to my entire graduating class. He has been and continues to be my mentor and confidant and I hope from time to time I've even been able to be that for him. He has supported me from day one. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Mr. Rand Swansey. Without you I could not be me. You are my hero.
<3
Miss. LoGrasso :-)
PS- I think he also helped me become the loud mouth I am today because come spring he had to temporarily put my desk up against the chalk board, so I couldn't talk to the other students during class. This time I was isolated because I was too confident and talked too much. I said to him, "I feel rude not talking to someone when they start talking to me.”, and he told me I could say to them, "I am sorry, but I can't talk right now because I am trying to learn." Oh the difference a year and a great teacher can make!
*RIP Jacobsons which provided me with the entirety of my grade school closet
Now let's take a quick tram down memory lane: It was 1998, I had just finished second grade. Going into second grade I was confident, goofy, loud and quirky. I had a ton of friends and an enjoyment for school. Leaving second grade I was scared, insecure, lonely and the least myself that I have ever been in my life. What happened, you may ask? The simple answer is that I had a teacher that year who destroyed my self esteem. She took a bright, outgoing, self-aware child, and turned her into a cowering, shy and afraid one.
She made me feel stupid any time I tried to talk or answer a question, I felt completely voiceless and certainly unworthy of any praise. I would make up stomach aches so I wouldn't have to go to school. My Parents tried to help the best they knew how, but there’s only so much you can do from outside the classroom. I can honestly say this was one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult years of my life. I know it sounds strange to hear that about such a young age, but as anyone who has studied psychology, communication or just been alive knows, your childhood sets up the precedent for the rest of your life. The things that happen when you are but a babe can be the most jarring because you are innocent and don't expect the world to ever be cruel.
I have one vivid memory where we were all on the playground and I purposely isolated myself because I couldn't imagine why someone would want to play with me. When I think of this moment I just want to go back to my seven year-old self, give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay. It breaks my heart. While I was sitting there alone, my dear childhood friend Katie approached me and said, "Lauren, come play with us, we don't want you sitting alone." That moment always sticks out in my head as such a brave act of kindness from another person who was also only a child, and yet, had so much compassion, courage and empathy. Thanks Girl. Beyond that sweet memory, there aren’t a lot of terribly great ones from that school year, and it is absolutely frightful to think that I allowed someone to take away my power so easily. Now as a 7/8 year-old, most of us don't know much better than to believe that the superiors in our life are smart enough to tell us the truth, but it is still gutwrenching to me that I allowed that to happen.
So as you can imagine, I left this year feeling like I wasn't intelligent, with a low self esteem and not too excited about the thought of school. Fast forward through the summer where I had some fun in the sun, recovered a bit and got ready to enter third grade. Now, I don't know how it happened but somehow I got slotted into a class with a woman who was extremely harsh, not very generous of spirit and long-story-short, much like my teacher the year before. After a couple weeks of enduring her questionable teaching method, my parents and I realized this wasn't going to be okay to go through again. By the grace of God, we went in and had a meeting with the principal who recommended I switch classses to a guy named Mr. Swansey. Now at first I was all like, "What? A boy teacher? Dat be cray!" But then I started to think this Swans guy sounded like he was pretty top notch.
I still remember the first day of class. I had gotten up early, which so rarely happened, and got dressed in my third grade finest, which was probably a Nautica sweater and some stretchy slacks.* I remember I had the feeling of excitement about going to school for the first time in a very long time. Mr. Swansey welcomed me in and we started to talk. It was amazing, because even the environment of that class room was different. When students walked in the door, many of them gave me a hug and welcomed me to class. I felt comfortable and ready to rock for the first time in so long. This can be attributed solely to the type of classroom that Mr. Swansey had set up. He created a space in which students could be friendly and loving, a space where they could support one another.
On that day it was like my whole world flipped around. It was as if walking into that classroom injected the life back in me that has been sucked out the year before. I really believe it was that year, that I decided to be smart. To this day I would never say I am the most book smart person in the room, but I think I am often the hardest worker, which puts me right up there with the smartest. I learned with tenacity, drive and a bit of brain power, you can learn most anything you want to. I still remember the first time we did long division in that class. I was getting it! It made sense! I was so excited! I remember Mr. Swansey looked over my shoulder and said, "Look at Miss. LoGrasso go!" It makes me tear up to think back and remember how much it meant to me to be complimented on how well I was doing at something that I had never received good feedback for. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard at things that didn't come naturally, because I knew that if I worked hard enough, I could be good at it.
He was also the first teacher who made me realize I am writer. I remember I wrote some weird story about the Titanic and how I (Or whatever I named the main character--who was really just an alias for Lauren LoGrasso) was able to save the ship from sinking by going back in time and warning everyone about the looming bergs. He complimented me on it with such sincerity that I knew I had something going on that was special. Without that, who knows if I ever would have had the gusto to keep developing those skills and become the songwriter/sketchwriter/blogger/tweeter (Wink), I am today.
I remember doing these 100 word spelling tests in his class, three days in a row. They were really difficult. I made a deal with my Dad that if I got 100% on all of them we would go to Greenfield Village. I got 100 on two and 99% on one. I started crying because I thought my Greenfield village dreams were done for. Mr. Swansey, ever the rational one, told me in so many words that I was being ridiculous, that my parents are lovely people and would probably still take me even though I got one word wrong. He was right. I got to hang out at the Colonial wonder world all day long, and even learned a valuable lesson: it's okay to not be perfect as long as you always try your very best. That's what perfect really is, anyway, putting all the effort you can muster into being your best self. Not only that, but If I had not taken those tests, and gained the confidence that I knew how to memorize, and use the words correctly, who knows if I ever would have been able to recite a shakespeare monologue, learn and write songs quickly or even write this blog.
There are truly countless examples I could give of how this incredible educator changed my life, but the point I am trying to hammer home is that the things you teach kids, and the confidence you instill in them, directly affects their future lives. If I hadn't been taught these important lessons and life skills in the third grade, who knows if ever would have. You really can't take what I teacher does for granted.
To the teachers out there, whether you have a degree and teach in an elementary school, middle school or high school, do freelance tutoring or are just someone who leads by example in their everyday life, never take your job for granted. For in two simple years one teacher completely urraveled who I was, and another teacher picked up the tattered thread and sewed me back together even better than I was before. You have the power to make or break a student. Do everything you can to build them up.
Children understand how human beings are supposed to be: open-hearted, kind and always assuming the best in people. Help them to stay that way for as long as possible. Do not trap students into self fulling prophecies. Teach them to work hard, to respect and love one another, and to count on you. There is no profession more noble or important on this planet than to teach another human being. Teachers make the politicians, musicians, doctors, lawyers, peace makers, future teachers, etc., so therefore, they are all these things too. You are the modern day spiritual leaders. Teach the children love. For themselves, for their fellow human being and for the world at large.
To this day Mr. Swansey and I are still in touch and talk often. He came to most of my play performances in middle school, high school and college. He was my special guest at high school graduation as I gave a speech to my entire graduating class. He has been and continues to be my mentor and confidant and I hope from time to time I've even been able to be that for him. He has supported me from day one. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Mr. Rand Swansey. Without you I could not be me. You are my hero.
<3
Miss. LoGrasso :-)
PS- I think he also helped me become the loud mouth I am today because come spring he had to temporarily put my desk up against the chalk board, so I couldn't talk to the other students during class. This time I was isolated because I was too confident and talked too much. I said to him, "I feel rude not talking to someone when they start talking to me.”, and he told me I could say to them, "I am sorry, but I can't talk right now because I am trying to learn." Oh the difference a year and a great teacher can make!
*RIP Jacobsons which provided me with the entirety of my grade school closet
Friday, April 5, 2013
Give Me Authenticity Or Give Me Death
Betrayal of oneself is possibly the most egregious spiritual crime. If you are willing to forsake your own soul for the sake of any seeming reward, then you have no chance whatsoever of being true to someone else. You cannot possibly see the road to happiness and fulfillment when you are focused on other's opinions and how to make your outward self more appealing. This need for outward validation is why we generally betray ourselves, right? We think: "I don't really want to do this", our intuition says, "this isn't right", but we go forth anyway, because we are worried about other's opinions and how we might look.
Why do we do this? In my own life, I have often betrayed my soul because I thought, "What will people say if I don't do this?" "Won't I be ashamed?", "Will I feel like a failure if I don't have monetary success?". The preceding questions exemplify the ego at its worst and most perilous state.
I have come to realize something: There is no greater shame than lacking the courage to follow your heart. Nothing is beneath me except being false to myself. That is far beneath me. And I hope it is beneath you too. There is no way we can possibly, respect, support, trust and love each other if we cannot do that for ourselves. All we leave this world with are our connections to each other: how we made each other feel and how well we loved. That is the only damn thing in this whole world that remains. Why take away this great spiritual gift?
I think about this in particular in regard to the feeling of shame society can bestow upon us for not having a high profile job. I really wish money didn't exist. I wish we could all be a bunch of hippies running around bartering, and focusing on following our souls. However, since it does, and since we live in a capitalistic culture we need to find a way to be validated by spiritual wealth instead of the fleeting physical wealth.
I know that if I had taken the "Natural Track" I could have a really nice, high-paying job, sitting in an office somewhere while my soul slowly withered alway along with my self-respect and passion for life. I would rather scrape around the world for years, going from vagabond job to vagabond job that surrender my soul to an institution I don't believe in. I know I will have success in the arts I am pursuing because I am doing it with absolute integrity and soul. Passion does not even begin to describe the way I feel about the messages I put forth through singing, writing, acting and teaching. Even if I end up in a place that's different from what I envisioned, I am one hundred percent sure that if I go forth with an open, honest heart, and with respect and honor for my deepest self, I will prevail.
Give me Authenticity or give me death! Really, if you aren't real with yourself, your happiness, light and love die. So while it sounds like an extreme statement, it's actually quite true. The only way we will find our path to enlightenment and love, lies within ourselves, not in anything physical we can conceive. So I challenge you all, as I challenge myself to focus on what's within: Nourish your inner self. Respect the being you came here to be. And for God's sake, be authentic. Everyone can smell a phony coming from a mile away and it's not too attractive. I really believe all the world's deepest issues start in self betrayal, so starting today, I ask you to be faithful to your soul. I can't wait to see the positive influence your honest and trustworthy self will have on the world!
Love,
Lo :)
Why do we do this? In my own life, I have often betrayed my soul because I thought, "What will people say if I don't do this?" "Won't I be ashamed?", "Will I feel like a failure if I don't have monetary success?". The preceding questions exemplify the ego at its worst and most perilous state.
I have come to realize something: There is no greater shame than lacking the courage to follow your heart. Nothing is beneath me except being false to myself. That is far beneath me. And I hope it is beneath you too. There is no way we can possibly, respect, support, trust and love each other if we cannot do that for ourselves. All we leave this world with are our connections to each other: how we made each other feel and how well we loved. That is the only damn thing in this whole world that remains. Why take away this great spiritual gift?
I think about this in particular in regard to the feeling of shame society can bestow upon us for not having a high profile job. I really wish money didn't exist. I wish we could all be a bunch of hippies running around bartering, and focusing on following our souls. However, since it does, and since we live in a capitalistic culture we need to find a way to be validated by spiritual wealth instead of the fleeting physical wealth.
I know that if I had taken the "Natural Track" I could have a really nice, high-paying job, sitting in an office somewhere while my soul slowly withered alway along with my self-respect and passion for life. I would rather scrape around the world for years, going from vagabond job to vagabond job that surrender my soul to an institution I don't believe in. I know I will have success in the arts I am pursuing because I am doing it with absolute integrity and soul. Passion does not even begin to describe the way I feel about the messages I put forth through singing, writing, acting and teaching. Even if I end up in a place that's different from what I envisioned, I am one hundred percent sure that if I go forth with an open, honest heart, and with respect and honor for my deepest self, I will prevail.
Give me Authenticity or give me death! Really, if you aren't real with yourself, your happiness, light and love die. So while it sounds like an extreme statement, it's actually quite true. The only way we will find our path to enlightenment and love, lies within ourselves, not in anything physical we can conceive. So I challenge you all, as I challenge myself to focus on what's within: Nourish your inner self. Respect the being you came here to be. And for God's sake, be authentic. Everyone can smell a phony coming from a mile away and it's not too attractive. I really believe all the world's deepest issues start in self betrayal, so starting today, I ask you to be faithful to your soul. I can't wait to see the positive influence your honest and trustworthy self will have on the world!
Love,
Lo :)
Friday, March 1, 2013
A Soul Too Big For My Body
I've heard quotes from famous theorists who say our goal on this Earth is to find a way to expand our soul to its maximum potential, while it's still contained in our physical bodies. Here's the problem I'm having with that goal: Sometimes I feel I was given a soul too big for my body. A soul that will make my body break into a million pieces if it expands to its largest potential.
For my whole life it seems to have been bursting at the seams, begging to be let out, to be set free, to be seen separate of this flesh that has long held it back. It could have been split between many different bodies and possibly been okay. But to love so much and so deeply, and to be begging for freedom all within the confines of one lump of flesh is sometimes more than I can bear.
Perhaps the burden of soul, so large can be alleviated if we can come to see that having many passionate desires is not a bad thing, as many would have us believe, but rather, a blessing. I've decided that my goal is to live many mini lives within this large one. I think my thrashing soul is an opportunity to do just that. So rather that feeling insane for having so many things that you love, and for loving them all so deeply, we can take that deep love and apply it to living a fuller life. Fear not, colossal souls of the universe: There's a place for you. There's a place for us all.
Nothing but love,
Lo
For my whole life it seems to have been bursting at the seams, begging to be let out, to be set free, to be seen separate of this flesh that has long held it back. It could have been split between many different bodies and possibly been okay. But to love so much and so deeply, and to be begging for freedom all within the confines of one lump of flesh is sometimes more than I can bear.
Perhaps the burden of soul, so large can be alleviated if we can come to see that having many passionate desires is not a bad thing, as many would have us believe, but rather, a blessing. I've decided that my goal is to live many mini lives within this large one. I think my thrashing soul is an opportunity to do just that. So rather that feeling insane for having so many things that you love, and for loving them all so deeply, we can take that deep love and apply it to living a fuller life. Fear not, colossal souls of the universe: There's a place for you. There's a place for us all.
Nothing but love,
Lo
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Dating Food For Thought
I've realized recently that if you love people enough, and are open enough, you can have a romantic relationship with almost anyone. It doesn't mean you should, though, and it also doesn't meant that, that person is your best match. Be sure to decipher the difference between a person who you have warm feelings toward as a human being, and someone who you have an authentic spark with. This is something to keep in mind as you go about your days in search of a proper mate. I need to remember this, also. Loving people is great, but you have to possess the wherewithal to know the difference between a general love of humanity and that extra punch that a genuine connection packs. Hit me baby one more time.
Blessings,
Lo
Blessings,
Lo
Monday, February 11, 2013
62 Years of Love
My Grandparents were married for 62 years before my Grandpa passed away this past January. I wanted to share a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa on his 70th Birthday. This small bit of writing alone gives me faith that the love we have all dreamed of exits in the world. Read up for inspiration:
Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible.
This birthday gives me a chance to thank you for the miracle of you. You are & always will be the love of my life forever.
Happy Birthday with all my love,
Elida
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
Happy Birthday with all my love,
Elida
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren
And now one from Grandpa-->
From Your Sweetheart Larry
TO ELIDA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, ON HER 70TH BIRTHDAY
MAY YOU HAVE INFINITELY MORE YEARS TO COME.
You always have given yourself to your family & others. Your love, understanding, time, labor, making drapes, shears, curtains, etc. Baby sitting your Grand children doing for your Family and Other's. We all love You.
I remember the first time I set eyes on you at Harry & Almas where Joe was playing at the time. You came in with Santa & Co. I was with someone else at the time. I was mesmerized with your beauty. It was love at first sight. I knew then I would marry you if you would have me. Proof of that was that I proposed on our second or third date. I always thought love at first sight, was a lot of bull, but believe me, it wasn't.
I might have been the bull, but you were the
Matador. You put the Sword in my heart for life. They used to Call me
the Sicilian Sword, when I was young, but my northern Italian Beauty got
my heart forever. You have given me 5 Wonderful Children and five (6
now) Beautiful GrandChildren. You have given me 46 years of love,
encouragement, friendship, companionship.
You truly are my Love, Best Friend, my Ginger Rogers Dance Partner.
I would be lost without you. I hope and pray that we can dance the Lindy together till we are 100+ years old. I love you with all my heart. P.S. Even when you get after me for my T.V.'s, Pitney Bowes/Insurance supplies and 28 File Cabinets and my procrastination.
I would be lost without you. I hope and pray that we can dance the Lindy together till we are 100+ years old. I love you with all my heart. P.S. Even when you get after me for my T.V.'s, Pitney Bowes/Insurance supplies and 28 File Cabinets and my procrastination.
Love,
Lar The Sicilian Sword :=)
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