Learning to Love Your Light

You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. What happens when you realize it’s true? Spoiler Alert: it’s a big L.O.V.E. for all! 

When I first heard this saying as a child, I thought it was ridiculous. How could this be true when it goes against the very definition of what love is? Back then I defined love as selfless acts of kindness for others. What I didn’t realize was that my definition was a side effect of love, rather than love itself.  Now it seems, the word Love, in the deepest sense, means endless goodwill toward any being or object. 

Loving yourself is simply the recognition the unique light inside of you, learning to value your light, and sharing it with the world. That is why in loving yourself, you are instantly able to love all others. When you show endless goodwill toward your unique qualities, you immediately are able to offer limitless goodwill to others. The reason for this is that you are able to perhaps see a piece of yourself in them.  Though your light may shine differently from someone else’s light, it is still a beauty that you can recognize, affiliate with, and therefore love. It may come packaged differently, but ultimately, it’s the same.

For instance, I remember thinking in middle school that I was the only one who felt awkward. When I heard people laugh in the hallway I thought it was always directed toward me. I couldn’t grasp the idea that maybe something was just funny and it wasn’t my quirky twelve year old ethnic girl self.* There was a distinct moment during my freshman year of high school when I was walking through the halls of Grosse Pointe South High and I realized: Everyone on God’s Green Earth feels awkward. To feel awkward is to be human. It was then that I began to embrace the awkward within, and in doing so, I somehow became less awkward. Once I did that, I recognized when others were feeling similarly human and was endeared to them in knowing our struggle was the same. Though their awkwardness manifested in different ways, I understood what they were going through and felt a kinship with them. In fact, when I saw these oddly human moments, I was somehow able to diffuse the awkward by embracing it and the person (and/or people) it was coming from. It’s amazing the amount of love you can feel for another human being when you realize your core is the same. 

That’s why I don’t get it when people* utter the phrase, “You just don’t understand what I’m going through!” Or even better: “No one understands me!” Okay, if we stop to think about this for even one second we will see that it is absolutely ludicrous. Not only does someone understand, I would wager to say most every human being with moderate life experience has been through some variation of what you’re feeling. Now if they have that and also love for themselves and others, then they can even experience empathy which that means they have the ability to help you cope and overcome your problem. Bada boom, bada bing, love will keep us together.*

The positive results that stem from learning to love your own soul and (as a result) to love others are limitless. We can heal the world by simply realizing how innately connected we all are. Why don’t we start today? Do I hear a new year’s resolution? Come on my babies, let’s do it!

I believe in people. Amen. 

*That was my 7^th grade cast type

*Mostly Angsty teens (me included) and Adult Children

*Copyright Barry Manilow 1975

As a Side Note: Remember loving and honoring who you are is different than ego. My favorite spiritual guide, Dr. Wayne Dyer always says, “E.G.O, that’s edging God Out,” To speak in terms that I used earlier, it is not honoring your light. It is putting a falsified, glitzed up version of your innerself on spotlight (think Toddlers and Tiaras of the soul), and screaming from the rooftops, “here I am, LOVE ME, because I DO!” The problem is, that when you’re listening to your ego, you are not loving yourself, because you are inhibiting creation and embellishing your truth. The ego is the little voice inside our head that tells us we are what we have and what we do: It’s the voice that tells us we are what others think of us. It’s anything that denies our divine nature and disables us to love on a profound level. 


When we are deeply intertwined with our ego we are too wrapped up in the image we’re creating to be interested in limitless good will--we’re too busy thinking of ways to make ourselves look better. There’s a distinct difference between ego and loving your soul, that cannot be overlooked. So do not for a moment think that to love yourself means you’re being egotistical. Again, there’s a difference between supporting your essence and supporting your image. 


Well, that was the side note! Thanks for reading!