You can mistake a streetlamp for the moon based on perspective

Many times in my life I have viewed something that was seemingly mundane which later snowballed into a perfect metaphor for one of life’s questions that I had been pondering.

So get ready, because you’re about to get hit with a story like that, kids. Also, be warned because this blog gets kind of personal, but I figure, if I can’t share my own life with people, what kind of blogger am I? I want people to learn from my mistakes!

Anyhow, two days ago I was on my way home from play rehearsal when my travel was halted by a Stoplight. It was in this moment that I saw it: the most beautiful and beaming full moon there had been in weeks. It looked different from any moon I had ever seen; it was inspiring to say the least. Upon further examination of this perfect specimen, I realized I was not, in fact, looking at the moon, but rather, at the brilliant, beaming…light from a streetlamp.

Besides thinking that maybe I should start wearing my glasses while driving, another interesting thought hit my mind: You can mistake a streetlamp for the moon based on perspective. Because of where I was looking, at first glance, it really did seem to be the celestial figure every human has gazed upon since the beginning of time. However, upon further investigation, it was just like every other lamp on the block.

Now, this metaphor makes sense for a couple of reasons, but it made me think mostly about love. Why, you may ask? So glad you did: I have been noticing a lot of people getting divorced lately, and, conversely, a lot of people my age getting engaged and married. I think about marriage and it feels so far off to me. Perhaps that is because I can’t imagine marrying someone who didn’t truly feel like my other half, who wasn’t the moon to my earth and vice versa. It’s not only hard to conceive that you could meet that person at such a young age, but also, that you would feel the desire to get married so young. Though, I know, it DOES happen and for a few people, it makes perfect sense.

With that being said, here’s a problem I’ve noticed: I think a lot of people marry someone who they thought (or, more closely, hoped) was their moon, but in reality, was merely a street lamp.

That’s not to say that they weren’t a grade A street lamp with an amazing bulb that brought light and joy to their partner’s life, but eventually every bulb burns out, or at the very least, flickers heavily. Nobody needs a weak strobe light kind of love.

And hey! This blog is supposed to be about the wobbly Twenties, so let’s speak about it: Don’t waste your twenties (nor, any part of your life) dating the wrong person. Live passionately and with a daring panache. Move through your life, toward your dreams, swiftly and confidently. Date along the way and if you find someone you feel to be worthy of slowing down for, or better yet, running with, and if they feel the same way about you, do it! But certainly don’t do something because it’s safe, In life or in love. As my teacher Christina said once or twice in her acting class, “Safe is boring.” And Xtina was right. Risk takers are the ones with all the stories. Gamble on holding out for a love that’s worth risking it all for.

It comes down to this: Do your partner and you have a similar thesis to your life? Do you have similarities where it counts? If the answer is no, reconsider. You don’t have to be the same person by any means, in fact, it is great to date different people because you learn from them, but if you do not agree on the fundamentals, then it will never work long-term.

Many people end up marrying for the sake of marriage, not because they found a love that felt like home. For example, I recently left (on mutual terms) a five-month relationship that was over-all quite lovely and with a great guy. Now you may be saying in your head, ‘But why would you do that, it sounds like you had it good..blah blah blah..” Before you go into that, let it be known that this man and I had some deep rooted beliefs and needs that were quite divergent, unfaltering and non-negotiable. Too many people end up marrying the people that they should have dated for five months, had an amazing time with, learned a ton with and moved on from. Why do they do this? Either they are completely delusional or, more likely, because they are afraid of being alone. DON’T DO THIS.

I can tell you from experience, you can feel much lonelier with someone than without someone. I can only imagine that this is even more true in marriage; remember, we’re talking about ETERNITY here, folks. It’s not a game. It’s not about planning a fun party. It’s about finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. That’s a beautiful thing, that should not be rushed or forced with the wrong person, but rather, gently danced through with the right one. 

Don’t settle for a streetlamp when your moon is out there walking around waiting for you to stop getting diverted by the closer, easier-to-reach light fixtures and to suck it up and take a giant leap for man kind. Or at least, love kind. Which is man kind. I wish he had said human kind. It’s more inclusive. RIP Neil Armstrong. Tangent.

Long Story Short: To quote my friend Hannah, do not accept anything less than your ideal destiny. Love doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to feel like home.

And though Shakespeare Claimed the moon was “inconstant” I beg to differ. Even when we can’t see it, or when it takes a different form, it’s always there. Kind of like love. Best. Metaphor. EVER. Goodnight.

Better Youself: Look At Your Life From An Objective Perspective- IT RHYMES!

Hello my babies. I wanted to share a realization/thought/philosophy I am currently working toward employing in my life. I have realized that it is pretty hard to heal your life when you’re constantly looking at it from an emotional perspective. Looking at yourself through the eyes of someone who is trying to protect you, rather than induce you to be your best self is debilitating, as it usually allows you to create excuses and stay trapped as a less evolved person. Thus, it seems, the only way to cure the problems that ail you is to view yourself from an objective position. How would a complete stranger view you if they saw a day in your life? What problems would they point out? How would they advise you to go about changing?

What caused me to think about this is how easy it seems to be for us to look at other people and pick out exactly what is halting their progress. Amongst my close friends, I am almost always a person who is gone to for advice. Why not employ what seems to be a natural ability in my own life? Not doing so would be quite foolish.

It is hard to admit what your problems are, but it’s even harder to live with them everyday. Take the time to elevate your thoughts enough to help yourself without feeling bad or making excuses about who you are. I’m about to go hippie on your ass, Fo Realz, so brace yourself: In looking at myself objectively I sometimes like to literally picture my soul lifting out of my body and looking down on myself and assessing the situation in a loving, kind, yet constructive way. You certainly don't have to do this, but whatever your normal person equivalent would be, go for it! Check yourself out! Really say, Who am I? And more importantly, Who did I come here to be? Then work toward aligning the answers of those questions.

Now I have a dear friend who is constantly overly critical of himself, especially considering the fact that he is one of the most wildly talented people I have ever met. A couple days ago I tweeted a short statement about this objective assessment being a key to living a better life, and he stated that when he looked at himself objectively, that’s when things go downhill for him. That is not objective. I think people think that being ultra/overly critical of oneself is objective, but that is more emotional than anything. Telling yourself how terrible you are, rather than how you can take steps to change, is a simple thought process, and in reality,  just another excuse. Being objective just means that you’re looking at your life at face value. Seeing it exactly as it is, outside of any expectations you may have had.

 If someone didn’t know you, and had no reason to be mean or kind to you looked at you, what would they say about your life, and how would they advise you to carry on most effectively? This is the question! It is lifting yourself from your baggage and saying, “How can I make this better with the tools and experiences I have at my disposal?” “What moves could I make that would create a most complete life?” You can’t let past baggage and fear of not being perfect get in the way of healing yourself at present. You’re a heck of a lot less perfect when you don’t even know what’s holding you back, than when you’re aware and working toward change and healing.

So try it out today—and report back and let me know how it goes! I’m working toward the same endeavor, so I’ll keep you updated.

Love,

Lo :-) 

Revelations 07/10/12

This blog is entitled, “Revelations”, because I understood, debunked and realized how to fix the source of my current early twenties angst whist writing. Writing can truly be such a spiritual experience. I suggest it to any wobbly-to-completely steady (aka any) soul in all of the universe. If you’re looking for catharsis, therapy, self-reflection and a little bit of God all in one, take a quill to paper (or, you know, fingers to a keyboard-technology, crazy), and write it out, bu. So, if you still feel like reading, maybe you can learn from my trials and tribulations and not have to make the same judgment errors about your life that I have been making about mine. The point is, 9/10 we are, at least in some way, creating our own problems by not properly engaging in self-reflection. So read on, if you dare, and remember: our perspective is always limited when we’re only looking two inches ahead. We must learn to see from above. That’s what I’m working on.  I feel like my soul has evolved years (or at least weeks) in minutes. Check it:

When I think of all the changes that have occurred in my life in the past year, it is slightly overwhelming. I feel like life has been silently slipping by me without my total consent. My days have become sand through my fingers, and I feel like there's nothing solid to hold on to. I guess this is the transition into real adulthood, as opposed to fake (aka college) adulthood.

The terrain I tread upon is constantly evolving, and my feelings toward my path are changing, too. My feelings and ideas fluctuate on a moment-to-moment basis. Something particularly jarring hit me yesterday, when I was talking to my boyfriend, and realized I don't have someone in this state that fully shares my humor. Of course, he understands it, and respects it, I mean, I knew he was a keeper when I started singing “Mama Mia” to him in a Carly Rae Jepsen voice and he was totally on board with it…But he is not necessarily one to sing it back, and quite frankly, I don’t really feel I have found many others yet who would either. And though it may seem like a trivial thing, it struck me as much more heartbreaking. I've only met a handful of people in my whole life who totally see through my eyes on humor and every other level. That’s not to say I don’t have lovely, and even soul connections, with many of the people I know in this sunny state, but maybe I don’t connect with them on the same level of hilarity as I would with, say, my friend Jont.

Though, when I think of it, the fact that I haven't met anyone who completely shares my humor could be because I haven't completely shared my humor with anyone. What a concept. Could it be that the truth isn’t that people don’t get that side of me, but rather, that I am not letting anyone in enough to share my soul with in that deep way? I think I may have solved the shrine of the silver monkey. Temple guards, be gone.

After all, in every place I've ever lived, I have been able to find at least two-to-three, people who view the world similarly to how I do, especially in the things we find to be funny. This place is no different. And when I think about it, in most of the other places I’ve dwelled, it took a good year or two to find my place with these soul friends. Sometimes I had known these people loosely, or even been in a friendship with them for a couple of years before we connected on the insane level of quirkiness I possess within my heart.

I think that I never allow myself to feel settled in the beginning simply because it's easier to go into every situation saying, "Well, if it doesn't work out, no pain, no loss, I never fully settled into that place anyway." And living in this place is no different. If I don’t fully make a commitment, then I can’t get hurt. This is the same reason I decided to go to MSU ten days before school started, and even after I decided to go I still said all the while, “I’ll probably only go here a year and then transfer.” Low and behold, going to Michigan State turned out to be one of the best, if not THE best, decision(s) I have made. Every subsequent positive event I've lived has sprung up as a result of choosing that school. By closing myself off and not fully committing to the place I’m in and the people I’m with right now, I’m shutting myself out of so many beautiful roads that I might travel.

I think I have been afraid to connect to this place, also, because I am afraid that if I make too many serious connections here, I will lose all of my roots. How Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants of me. But really, I am afraid to lose my tie to my home, my family& my friends, fearing they would all be replaced by a new home, a possible new family, and new friends. I guess I am just now realizing that no one could ever be replaced. Yes, perhaps old friends and I will vacillate between being really close, to not so close, and back to close again, but the fear of losing a bond that has already been formed is no reason not to create new bonds. Everyone has to grow, everyone has to change: it does no good for anyone when you hold yourself back from being your most evolved self.

As open of a person as I am, I can still be very closed off (in such a subtle way, that even I hardly detect it), if I think there’s any risk of having my heart shattered into a million pieces. I guess this is partially due to the fact that I am a human being, but I must say, I don’t fully understand this subconscious mentality of mine, as, for the most part, the people I’ve come across and really let into my life have been nothing short of limitless blessings.

I really do have faith that I will meet/already know many California quirkballs who I will share many funny, and also deep, times with. Beyond that, regardless of the fact that most of my favorite jokesters are 3000 miles away, it’s still a pretty miraculous thing to have the feeling that somebody gets you on such a deep level. That’s really very cool. So here I am Los Angeles, with an open heart and mind. LA, let me say it here and now: I am ready to let you in a little bit, as long as you can promise not to be a flaky twat.

Sorry, I needed to get one last LA jab in there.

Okay. Now I am ready to let you in. You beautiful, diverse, kind, quirky, city full of beautiful, diverse, kind, quirky people. Because if you can see it, then you can believe it, and as a result, your ideal world will become reality. Let us choose to see the beauty in the world. And if we are really having a hard time finding it, choose to create it. With love and laughter.

Lo

Blogging In Paradise

Recently I had the good fortune of spending some time on the beautiful Island of Kauai in Hawaii with my awesome parents. This trip was phenomenal not only because I was able to reconnect with my family, whom I miss so much, but also, because I was able to reconnect with nature, which, always brings about some revelations.

This morning before I left that Mecca of nature to return to the city of angels, I was taking a final dip in the saltwater lagoon. While I was swimming around I heard a small child say to his mother who was sitting outside of the water in the shade, “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you should be enjoying yourself in the water” And she said back, halfheartedly, and with a defensive overtone, “I am enjoying myself.” To me, this was a very telling metaphor.

 Now perhaps I am about to read far too deeply into this. Maybe the lady truly didn’t like getting wet and preferred to sidestep paradise in order to sit off in the shade. But my first thought was: isn’t this, sadly, how many of us lead our lives?

The beauty and the opportunity is right in front of us, waiting for us to dive, or at least dip our toes, in and we sit off to the side, lying to ourselves, saying we’re content. This is something we don’t do as children. Somehow we grow up and we decide that our lives are better off led by fear and hesitation than faith and inspiration.

Most of the time the road to our most fulfilled self isn’t that far off, but we’re simply unwilling to brave another element other than the ones we’re comfortable with. The transition, and, more deeply, the thought of the transition, from air to water is the hardest part. Once we’re submerged, we rarely want to look back to the false sense of contentment of our past.

Now Here is my challenge to you all, as well as to myself: let us skip the painful build up, and fear of transition, and commit to taking the action to be our best, most joyful selves.

Most of the time the path is much less hazy and rocky than we imagine, and it is extraordinarily freeing to release yourself of a need to feign happiness. Let us strive toward unadulterated bliss, and accept whatever lessons come our way in the meantime. And for God’s sake, if you’re in one of the most beautiful places on earth and you have the opportunity to go swimming in a magical saltwater lagoon, take it. It’s refreshing, and it might just bring about enough inspiration to change your way of living…Or at least to write a nice blog about it, or hopefully, both! ;-)

Positive thoughts and the healing power of love your way,

Lo

Nature vs. Nurture When it Comes to Reality

Sometimes I wonder: What would I think of love if no one had ever told me what love is supposed to look like? Now that is a hell of a question and one that I'm not sure I am even ready/know how to answer, at this point; nonetheless, the musing was important, as it spurned me on to think up many questions of a similar nature.

 For instance: what would I think of the capabilities of my life, had no one ever tried to disarm my innate power? Would I have any limitations had no one ever tried to convince me otherwise? Or are these limitations merely self-imposed, unaffected by outside influence?

I know I am not really breaking new ground here: the old "nature" vs. "nurture" battle has been around as long as the "chicken" or the "egg",  but still, I think it's a worthy question pattern to engage in. The reason being, is that this force of society vs. individual shows up in every area of our lives, whether we can plainly see it or not.

To understand this, we must understand the way we come to know "reality". The outside world (including society at large, friends, family, acquaintances)'s opinions and viewpoints are what create reality for us. This may sound incredibly strange at first; I know it did to me when I originally learned the concept. I first heard of this in a sociology class I took my sophomore year of college  taught by a paunchy, brilliant, old professor by the name of Jon D. Miller . He taught from a book titled, The Social Construction of Reality by  Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann.

Though the books' concepts were fascinating, it was a bit of a slow read, so I'll save you the trouble and sum it up here: Reality does not truly exist, it is created. We all have a group of  "significant others"- Friends, family, teachers, etc., who create reality for us. As this group of significant others expands, so does our concept of reality or life. Every person you meet alters and expands your view of reality, conversely, the less people you meet, the more consistent and small your understanding of reality is.

Now, the depths of positive influence understanding this idea can breed, are limitless; but to name a few: more tolerance, love, and most importantly, self empowerment, can be fostered by understanding and controlling your view of what is real.

Oddly enough, the example that Professor Miller gave to explain this concept had to do with cutlery. The idea was that your parents could have feasibly told you your whole life that a spoon was called a fork, and a fork, a spoon. Then, when you entered elementary school for the first time, you would ask the hot lunch lady for a fork, when, in reality, you wanted a spoon. Upon receiving this, you would become confused and angry, wondering why this incompetent B with the hairnet gave you a "spoon" (fork) to consume your tomato soup with. Now, Jon D. Miller may have used slightly different terminology, being a distinguished, tenured professor, but it was something like that. Something so simple, yet, so mind blowing.

Anyway,...Long story short, this concept we have of reality is only something that we have been told and consented to believe is true. Over the years we have allowed people to tell us what life really is and what is practical and impractical. This includes everything. Including the limitations we have set on our own life path. In fact, I believe, most, if not all, of our limitations are merely opinions someone told us that, that we've taken to be an absolute truth.

Now here's the challenge/True question: what if we could eschew the reality forced upon us by our well meaning, but limiting, significant others, and open our lives up to all possibilities? Most of us have, or have had dreams that some would put on the scale of grandeur. Let us no longer view them as grandeur, but instead, look at them as our reality. If someone tells you otherwise, that's their understanding of reality, not yours.

 Since reality is socially constructed, anyway, who is anyone to say you can't go ahead and construct the reality you desire? It is my thought, that if we do this, we are making a verbal and visual contract with the Universe and God to help us achieve our dreams. People and opportunities will appear in your life to help you achieve your reality, because the universe desires to be in harmony with your thought pattern and will even create miracles to make it happen.

Believe your desired reality with an absolute persistence and tunnel vision--go toward it confidently until you reach it. Remember that there are no mistakes, for as the great Napoleon Hill of, Think and Grow Rich said, "Every failure brings with it the seeds of success." How true this is. If you believe and have undying persistence it's only a matter of time until you knock down all roadblocks and break through to your ideal destiny. In the meantime, you must believe it and desire it as if it were already the life you are living. Go for it, baby!

<3  Lo

In This Lonely City, A Poem

I wrote a poem about this city of Angels I’ve been living in for the past few months of my life. While I have found there to be an abundance of beautiful things and people here in LALA Land, there are definitely times when this city’s lack of a collective voice can get to me. What I realized, though, is that if you can be yourself regardless of where you are or who you are with, then you will always find bliss. It is up to us to disconnect from the junk around us and realize our complete and utter control to only accept positive aspects of the world as our truth. Though a bulk of this poem depicts the quirks of Hollywood, the moral of the story is that if you’re lonely, or unhappy, it isn’t your location’s fault. It’s up to you to see beauty in everything and everyone you meet, and to see the connections and love, even in a seemingly lonely city.

The Lonely City

Millions of people

Worlds away

Disconnected purposefully

“Creating" themselves.

In this lonely city.

Trapped behind their shades

In the darkness of the sun

Content in false happiness

Everything is distorted.

In this lonely city.

Climbing the invisible ladder

Scavenging for scraps

Sticking their toes in ice cold water

Faking it until they find out they didn’t want to make it

In this lonely city

Let’s do lunch

I forgot

Cancel last minute

Something just came up

In this lonely city.

I got cast!

I got used!

I got Tan!

Well, spray tanned.

In this lonely city

On the stage

Behind the screen

Under the lights

Anyone can seem a star

In this lonely city.

I am hurt

I am Lost

I am just one

In this lonely city

I am true

I fall hard

I live deep

In this lonely city

How does one find art?

How does one find home?

How does one find peace?

In this lonely city

Remember where you came from

Find the connections

And let your soul roam free
It’s up to you

Even in this lonely city.

ExtraTerrestrial Adventures and Outside Blogging Projects

I am writing a blog for the amazingly talented Author, Craig Campobasso, and therefore, I thought I’d also share the blog on my personal blog, as it goes right along with all the life questions I attempt to debunk in The Wobbly Times.

Here’s what I wrote for the, http://iamthyron.blogspot.com/ <--Check it out, please!! Craig’s book, The Autobiography of an ExtraTerrestrial Saga: I AM Thyron, really is one of the most fantastic novels I’ve ever had the privilege of reading! 

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I am currently reading a book called, The Autobiography of an ExtraTerrestrial Saga: I AM Thyron by Craig Campobasso. This book is the story of an ExtraTerrestrial name Thyron, who is an highly evolved soul suffering from a duality disorder. According to Campobasso, it’s a struggle in our daily lives to “let go of control,” and allow love to guide, not fear, for the betterment of all involved. In other words: allowing God to flow within us without judgment towards others. It is the fight within mortal man between our light and our dark. It is the struggle to react in a loving, constructive way, verses a spiteful, destructive way. Most of all it is giving into our deepest fears; allowing fear, rather than love, to control our lives.

When we allow our dark to be in control, is when we feel pain. Negativity drowns you, and takes others down with you. When our light flows, we flourish. There are no obstacles, only clear pathways that lead to happiness and fulfillment.

These, of course, are all the extreme differences between dark and light. But with the exception of the few great spiritual leaders this world has ever known, every person who has ever walked this Earth has experience with duality.

Imagine how much harder it is for Thyron, The ExtraTerrestrial, to live on a spiritual plane where almost everyone has learned to merge their light and dark. If you’ve ever known a child who was smart, but less so, in comparison to his/her Ivy League brothers and sisters, it’s a lot like that. Unfortunately for Thyron, it’s even more difficult as we’re talking about issues as deep as the intelligence of the soul. He, though advanced in many ways, is still struggling with how to become his most evolved self.

While almost everyone else has achieved Christ Consciousness, Thyron is still in a strange sort of limbo, teaching at the advanced college level at the Universe’s Spiritual University Melchizedek, while still learning, feeling inadequate for having duality control his thoughts. On one of the first pages of the book Thyron describes his duality disorder to his students, “And you wonder how I got this job? I wonder myself why Father Melchizedek chose me? Someday I hope to learn the answer.”

This line really struck a chord for me. Don’t many of us wonder this? I know I’ve asked in desperation many times, “God, why have you put such unpaved desires in my heart? Why couldn’t I just want to do something normal, with a clear path?” Anyone who has ever wanted something out of the “ordinary” has most likely dealt with these uncertainties. We ask why we have been given our life path, feeling we’re unequipped or unqualified to walk it.

The key is we always are, even if we don’t know how to do it, or why we’re there, there is a reason, there is a lesson, there is an answer. There is a purpose and a moral to every struggle we face. Campobasso gives us another way of looking at this through his lead character Thyron, revealing “that we write the blueprint to our lives before we incarnate, and that we discover our own answers during that lifetime.” Souls can quicken their evolvement this way. They are armed to deal with any problems, even the most dire of situations. All that needs to happen is to just stay calm and be patient and open enough to learn.

Another great quote that goes along with Campobasso’s teaching is one that Orison Swett Marden once said, “The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.” I think Orison had it right, specifically for this situation. I would take it even further, as Campobasso says in the book, to say, that our Creator God put the longing in our heart because we have an ability to complete it. Through the acquisition of our deepest dreams and the conquering of our greatest struggles, we can increase global consciousness, by raising our Light, one by one.

This duality disorder, which plagues the book’s protagonist, is undoubtedly the main focus, and biggest lesson of the book. Thyron even meets his own Shadow in The Shadow Chamber, learning why the shadow shadows each and every sentient being for soul advancement. It is also our biggest lesson on this Earth. I challenge you as, as I challenge myself, to join Thyron on his mission to merge our dualities and become a single being of God and Love. To become a Conscious One.

Thyron states at the beginning of the book, “Diversity is a spiritual tool designed to perfect humans for the Kingdom of the Christ Kings. The people of the Earth are student Gods in training.”

Yes, Earth is a grammar school, and the Heavens are the eternal college worlds. We have so much to be grateful for, and to look forward to: an eternity of learning is just waiting to be experienced.

So will Thyron overcome his duality? Will he say goodbye to his fear, attain Christ Consciousness, and allow unconditional love into his heart and grant it to others? You’ll just have to read the book, and find out!

You can buy The Autobiography of an Extraterrestrial Saga: I AM Thyron with FOREWORD by SYLVIA BROWNE, New York Times best-selling author and psychic on Amazon or Barnes and Noble online. But I suggest that you visit the books website to purchase an autographed copy: www.AutobiographyOfAnET.com

You can watch the Book Trailer there as well. 

*Blog Written by Lauren LoGrasso