2012: A Year Of Lessons; 2013: A Year of Action

2012 was a year full of lessons. I had some accomplishments, but mostly, I learned. I am grateful for those lessons, and I'll tell ya what, I am going to take these lessons and run with them, because God knows it was hard enough to learn them once, I don't want to do it again! 2013 is about enacting the powerful truths I learned through the toils of 2012, so that I can have a more successful and fulfilling life. Sound good? I suggest you do the same!  Now I will share some of the most important information I learned this year!

Lesson #1: Honesty is the way:
 Only when we are being honest with ourselves and others will we find our way to authenticity, and therefore, happiness. It does not serve our lives or our art to sugar coat our reality. In order to find our way to happiness, we must stay positive, yet, honest. This is a lesson I cherish and will keep with me forever.

Lesson #2 I am an artist:
 I know that calling yourself that can sound hoity-toity or asshole-ish, but I want to create, and share my creations, and I have no apologies for that. You shouldn't either. It is a great travesty that it took me 23 years to realize that my eccentric self was screaming to be let out of its cage into some sort of creative achievement. Ever since I have been writing here, writing and performing music, writing comedy, my soul has felt free. I have only just begun! What an exciting Journey!

I spent 23 years trying to fit into the box of Musical theatre and wondering why in the hell it was so hard. BECAUSE MY VOICE IS TOO FULL OF SOUL TO BE CONTAINED BY ANY ONE JASON ROBERT BROWN SONG! It makes so much sense that I have found my voices' full expression in playing and writing music that came from my heart! Shout out to Jordan Leer-I am so grateful for his talent and the fact that we both love music as much as we do! LoJo and The Truth (our Band) is going global in 2013! We are starting a new journey and that's exciting and scary, but I've never felt more strongly about anything in my life.

As for acting, it is still my greatest joy and passion, but I am done with trying to fit into roles the way I think someone wants me to. I am going to bring my unique outlook to it. I've spent too long trying to fit into the box. And also, I am sorry, but if my adoptive mother, Fran Drescher can be a leading lady, then so can I. I will just be an interesting one as opposed to a boring talking stick. You cool with that, Hollywood? I hope so. Because it's happening. In this town "Best friend type" seems to be code for interesting, funny and curvy...Let's change that in 2013 to "Awesome Type". I'm not trying to pretend that cast types don't currently exist in a certain way, but it's my goal while I'm in this town to change the current depiction of them!

Also, Shout out to my girl Casey Shipman-Her and I have some great sketch comedy ideas going and also are starting a weird, awesome and completely US comedy band Called, GrassMan, sure to put out hits that are both disturbing and hilarious in 2013. Check us out! So great to find a fellow kindred spirit who is just as goofy as I am! 

Writing is the portal to the soul. When my fingers hit the keyboard or pen hits the paper, I can let out a sigh of relief that whatever was trapped in my heart is no longer in control of me. It feels so great to be able to share what's on my mind and heart and it feels awesome to know that there are so very many of you out there who not only understand what I'm going through, but also, who are on a similar path.

#3 If You Don't Have Your Spirituality, You are going nowhere, especially not down a path of Happiness:
This is my personal thing, not saying it applies to everyone, but the moment I get out of touch with God and my fellow human being, my life goes to shit. Lesson learned. Also your relationship with God, just like any other relationship, is one you have to work on! Do it, LoGrasso!

#4 You Can't Control Anyone But Yourself:
This lesson has been important in dealing with issues with family and friends where I tried to help, but got nothing back. At the time I felt crushed that the people didn't take the advice I had given them, especially since I thought it would better their lives. But it was very egotistical of me to think I knew what was best for them. So I backed off and everyone was happier--sometimes you just need to detach until that person can solve the problem on their own. That's okay, you know? It has to be.

#4.5 It's Okay if Someone Doesn't Like Me:
I am also learning how to be okay with someone not liking me. I find myself to be a rather agreeable person who probably likes people more than the average human being. So when I've been perfectly nice to a person and they don't seem to feel the same way toward me, it's hard to understand. I even had one of my closest friends in LA this year just stop talking to me without any explanation, when I hadn't done anything to them that I knew of. They didn't even respond when I asked them what, if anything, I had done to anger them. It was really hard for me to deal with and I took it pretty personally. But I think their actions say more about them than they do about me. I am learning to let things like this go. This is an on-going lesson, but I'm sure I'll get it! It's hard to love people so much, but it's so very worthwhile in the long-run.

#5 Needless Procrastination is Fear Taking Physical Form:
I have found myself delaying contacting important people, putting off going to auditions or taking classes, procrastinating on cleaning my apartment, etc... All of these things would have taken relatively little energy and most of the pain is in the build up. In 2013 I intend to power through the build up and seize the day!

#5.7 As Nike Tells Us, Just Do It:
This is really a reiteration of #5, but if there's something you want to say, say it, if there's something you want to do, do it, if there's a place you want to be, go there. We often say, there's always tomorrow, but honestly, sometimes there isn't. I don't mean that as darkly as it sounds, but it's just that sometimes the window of opportunity closes more quickly than we would like it to. If you see something you want staring you in the face, grab it...Too often we tie our own hands and let our fate pass us by! The truth is if we don't do something now we might lose the chance to do it, ever. I am over the build up, I just want to go for it! 2013, a year of action and achievement, let's go!

#6 In Conclusion:
Though over all this year has been full of ups and downs, for me, and, I know, for many of you out there: the hardships we faced will not go to waste if we take those lessons and turn them into power! Let's be our best selves this year and achieve everything we set our minds to and even more!

I believe in you and me!

LET'S GO!

<3 Lo!

The Importance of Acknowledging Darkness

It is a blessing to have a positive outlook, if, and only if, coupled with that you are honest about the emotional state you are in. 

I am here to admit something, folks. I’m a positiveaholic. Admitting it is the first step, or so I’m told. In college I learned about something called the “Pollyanna Effect”. The Pollyanna effect, Based off the popular anime cartoon, The Story of Pollyanna, a Girl of Love, is the habit of taking the all occurrences in one’s life and spinning them into something positive. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful to be able to see the light in any situation, but never acknowledging darkness can be just as disastrous as an inability to see light.*

In an attempt to be more honest in my life and my work, I am going to share something with you: It has been a tough couple of months. A couple of months filled with confusion, relationship shifts, a car accident, family trauma and on top of that, trying to be a functioning and successful human. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve managed. 

Now in my life, I have, or at least have worked very hard to be, a positive person who brings light and love to the world. It is my belief that every soul has a different intention and I really believe mine is to bring the aforementioned light and love. Everything stems from there: every lesson, every vocation, every relationship. Including the difficult things I have to deal with. A lot of the problems I face are more difficult because I have built a life based upon love: so when the world meets me with a cruel situation, my first instinct is to turn it around and spin it into one of love. Sometimes I’m right, but sometimes it’s wildly contrived and wrong.

I am coming to understand, that this unyielding positive outlook isn’t always a good thing. It does a soul no good to pretend that the bad things you are experiencing aren’t actually happening. On top of making you feel crazy, you are unable to learn, which is our number one goal while in these physical bodies. If you can’t learn, then you can’t grow, which will ultimately inhibit you from being your best self and giving and receiving the purest forms of love. This is because when you close yourself off to what you deem to be negative emotions and situations, by default, this blockage carries over to the positive emotions and situations. So you are really only living a half life. Half lives should only exist in chemistry, and even then, it’s debatable. 

Even though I have been trying with all my might to love with the strength and fervor I know I am capable of, I haven’t been able to because I have not been allowing myself to feel the pain that I needed to feel. My new goal is to accept, acknowledge and deal with any and all emotions and situations in my life. Not to judge, deny or control, because these verbs always lead to trouble. I will let life’s unpleasant situations play out, I will acknowledge them, without dwelling on them, and learn from them. I will not forget what got me to the place where I felt that way. I will take the lesson of out it, and I will move on with the peace of mind that I don’t have to experience the same thing again if I make different choices, or, if I do end up in that situation, I’ll know how to deal with it more effectively. Then, I believe, I will experience real-life positivity. I will have a positive outlook with a foundation that makes sense, rather than something that is falsified because that’s how it’s “supposed” to be. 

I always want to be an optimist, but I think I will be a stronger optimist once I am able to accurately define how I feel and learn from it without having to shield myself or the world from my true emotional life. It will be honest optimism, not optimism masking pain, which is just bullshit. If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s another liar, so I am vowing to be more honest with myself and with you. 

Also, it took a lot of courage to write this down and now to share it, so I am proud of myself. This realization is a huge stride on my slow, yet steady, marathon to self actualization.

Thank you for reading. I hope you can support me on this journey, and know I support you on your path to self, wherever you may be. 

Sending you love and light,

Lolo <3

*I decided to bold/italicize the things that I really need to remember, and that might be helpful to you, also :-)

I Believe The World Is Getting Kinder

People always talk about how the current generation of the country will be the end of the world as we know it, but I think for the fist time in a long time, people are wrong.

Though, maybe it’s not the first time in a long time? It seems we’ve always been building up to how we are today, which means people have been getting increasingly better as the years go on. Each generation has been inching toward acknowledging a need for shared rights between all people.

If anything, I think this country (and the world, at large) is getting kinder—or at the very least, conscious. It seems we are at least aware of the turmoil that surrounds us, and the impact our choices have on each other and our planet. The increase in human rights we’ve seen over the past one hundred years is proof, alone, that we are starting to become less egotistical: that we’re becoming more concerned with the happiness of our fellow human being than our own power.

The strides we’ve taken and continue to take for civil rights, women’s rights and gay rights are all very encouraging to me. These strides have taken a total reconstruction of the common thought and a hell of a lot of courage. The lawmakers and citizens who have fought for them needed to put themselves and their reputation as, “well-thought-of individuals”, on the line in order to do what was right. That, my friends, is what I like to call: gutsy kindness. Can’t get enough of that stuff!

Wonderfully enough, it doesn’t stop with these particular human rights. There are kindness ambassadors springing up everywhere for many different causes! I am very encouraged by the different sorts of activism I’ve noticed taking off around the country and beyond. From veganism and vegetarianism, to fighting against animal cruelty, to environmental groups, to veteran support, to serving the poor and homeless…The list goes on and on. Needless-to-say: I am constantly inspired and in awe of the giving hearts of my fellow people.

Even in cases such as Kony 2012, which, from what I understand, turned out to be a bit of a sham, I can say I am proud of the fact that so many people felt so inspired to speak out for their sisters and brothers in different countries who are suffering. I feel that people are starting to understand the most important piece of the puzzle in our human experience: That we are all only mirrors of each other and that only love is real. When you hurt, I hurt, and vice versa. This makes me believe the levels of empathy and perspective taking are increasing, as well, which, are key factors to people dolling out kindness with such generosity.

So call me a cockeyed optimist! Call me a fool. Just don’t call me Sally. I’m kidding. Call me Sally the most. But honestly, as much it can be easy to get discouraged by certain experiences in life, when I think of all the good and all the beauty there is in the world, it brings me to tears and propels me to move forward with an open heart. We are so lucky to live in a time when there is so much love, generosity and benevolence everywhere we look!

Maybe I’m a hippie, or maybe I’m just aware. You can decide what you think of me, if you care to judge. But I think it’s pretty inarguable that for a country that began with bringing a group of people here by force and enslaving them, while running a simultaneous genocide of the native people of this land, and basically keeping any person who wasn’t a white male away from any real rights, we have come a LONG way. I am proud. Go America! Go World! I can say from experience, it’s a lot less exhausting and far more inspiring to be aware of and grateful for all the good in the world. It makes one feel alive!

I appreciate the kindness today and am excited to see what tomorrow brings!

Sending you love,

Lo

Have Gratitude Now: It's The Little Things

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So this is slightly belated, but:

Happy Gratitude Day! What are you thankful for? Personally, I am most thankful for all the love in the Universe and for the ability to learn. I am Thankful for everything that has ever happened to me and everything that ever will. With each life event we have the opportunity to learn, grow and make our lives and the way we love more successful. I feel I have done this and I pray I will have the courage to continue to do so.

I am so thankful for all the people I’ve met on life’s path; for those who have faded away, those who have stuck around and for those who are yet to come: you are the loves of my life and I am extremely lucky to know or to have known you. Even when someone first seemed to be more of a nuisance than a blessing, I can honestly say every person I’ve ever met has taught me something and/or challenged me to find a deeper way to love. Thank you: I love you.

Of course, with that being said, I am most thankful for the people in my inner circle: my friends and family mean the world to me and I feel so blessed to have so many beautiful souls in my life.

I am grateful that I am unique and unwilling to compromise on who I am. I know there have been times in my life that have been more difficult due to my quirky soul, but I also know that being the person I am has helped others become comfortable with being their weird selves. I am thankful for this and very proud to be a goof. If you ever hide who you are, you are cheating the world from seeing your unique light. That's not fair to us. Shine on, babies, shine on.

I am thankful to love so much and so deeply. Though at times this, too, has made my life more challenging, it has also made it more rewarding. I know that whatever I goal I go toward in life, I’ll work to achieve it with the whole of my soul. I am glad that while I’m in this physical body, I’m getting as much out of life as I can! Similarly, I am thankful to have so much that I’m passionate about. I am grateful to love and be a part of art. I am glad that I dedicated my life to the arts at such a young age and that I've stuck with it through thick and thin.  I am thankful for my instincts, perseverance and belief in the power of a dream.

And, of course, I am thankful for my health, and the fact that I have all the materials I need to survive on a physical level. It is so easy to get down on ourselves for not having what we deem to be the perfect body, a stunning wardrobe, or the most gourmet food and drinks, however, we must focus on what we do have. I would like to thank my legs for carrying me around, my arms for conducting tasks big and small, and my face for the ability to smile through all of life's trials and tribulations. I am thankful that I have clothing, shelter and sustenance. Even small things cannot be taken for granted. Let us not wait until we lose something to appreciate the many blessings in our life. Have. Gratitude. Now.

Finally, I am thankful for you. I appreciate you: whoever and wherever you are. I am truly grateful that you are taking the time to read what's on my mind and track my path road to success. Know that wherever you are, I am sending you love and wishing that you attain the courage to achieve your dreams. I believe in you.

In love and Thanks,

Lo :-)

There is more power in promoting something you love than ridiculing something you hate

This blog might be brief because it is a simple thought, yet, it is so important.

In the wake of the election, and just a time, in general, when we are polarized on so many issues, remember: it is a more efficient use of your time to promote something you believe in than to fight against something you despise.

I need to remember this as much as anyone. I am certainly guilty of brining attention to issues and candidates I disagree with. When most of us see something that we don't like it is our first instinct to say that it is bad and why we think it is bad. This isn't very constructive, is it? Rather than giving energy to a negative thought and a force you find to be incongruous with your life thesis, why not bring energy and positivity to something that gives you hope and lines up with your beliefs?

Good thoughts attract more good thoughts, as bad attract bad. The more energy you give to fear and hate, the more prevalent they become in the world.

So in these last days before the election, for every time you feel compelled to say why you hate one candidate or another, try to think of the opposite, positive attribute you like in the opponent and state that instead. It might make this whole battle a little less bloody and a little kinder. For as we know, if there's one thing politics isn't lacking, it's negativity. Why add to that? Let's annul it. How?? As always, focus on the love.

Love,

Lo

Women's Rights And Voting This Election

Something sprung me into action today, folks. I'm usually not one to get too political, wishing to respect every person’s viewpoint, and, as always, I do, but something needs to be said, and more importantly: Something needs to be done. 


Today I was when I working at my yoga studio as a Zen Ambassador (front desk receptionist, but as a PR lady, I know how to spin things), one of our students had a pin on that I'll post below. It said, "We will do it again! Obama Biden" and had a picture of Rosie the Riveter on it. I happen to be supporting Obama in this election, and I have always supported Rosie the Riveter, so I commented that I loved her pin. 

With that, she said the pin was mine. Generous dame, she was. I was then commenting on how important it is to vote in general, thinking of the women who were killed, imprisoned, beaten and starved in order to get us the right. This is huge; so if there's anything you take from this, ladies, even if you disagree with my personal viewpoint, please vote! Just do it. Don't disrespect the women who came before us, it's a slap in the face to the trauma they endured to get us the right to waltz right up and mark up that ballot. DO IT!


So back to the story: we then spoke about the Lily Ledbetter Equal Pay Act and how absurd it is that someone could object to a law that would make our female citizens stand on equal ground with our male citizens. Then she said something to me that really shook me up and I'm paraphrasing here, I guarantee you whatever she said had much more power, but here goes:

"I'm 75 and I thought after we fought so hard in the 60s and 70s this battle was over. I never thought I'd have to fight again, but in the last year there has been some of the most sexist material and propaganda (speech, literature and laws) that I've seen in my whole life. We have to keep on fighting"

WOW. This was shocking to hear. In my gender communication class we spoke about the backlash that occurs after a minority group gains power: could we now be experiencing a backlash 30-40 years in the making?

Is this happening now because we allowed ourselves to forget? We allowed ourselves to stop fighting, thinking what we had was good enough? I, for one, am not satisfied with making significantly less than my male coworkers; but what have I honestly done to fight this besides being a good employee? Nothing. Working hard is not enough, we have to take to the streets and remind people that we are worthy of TRUE and LITERAL equal status when it comes to the dolla dollar bills (yallz) and all things.

I have wanted to fight for women's rights since high school and looked up some organizations once or twice, but put it off, declaring I was too busy. Well, no more. We cannot put off being equal citizens any longer. This is serious. When there is a candidate who will unabashedly denounce the right to equal pay for women, coverage on birth control, the right to choose, the Affordable Care Act, which requires insurance coverage for preventive services like mammograms& cancer screenings, and more, I cannot abide.

Some of these issues are the very reason women were able to rise up. Did you know there was a direct correlation between the advent and use of the birth control pill and women's prominence in the workplace? When we can control our reproductive system, we can control our professional lives. How can we support someone or something that wants to take this away? Because here’s the issue when it comes to someone being against a woman’s right to reproductive control: all the signs point to root of the desire being to take away power and clout from the female population. That’s a sizable issue in my book. The book of Lo.

We’re all entitled to our personal views on birth control. I personally am against abortion. I couldn’t do it except in an extreme situation. But I think that it is a choice every woman should have a right to make on her own, since the fetus is technically a part of her body until it comes out. It’s also about the fact a government that should not be able to control a person’s body. That is not their place.

Back to the cause of women’s rights: I stand by my usual tenants of love and peace. Of course everything will be done with love and with the hope to make a more loving, fair and peaceful planet. I have no anger in my soul, only a passion for justice, and a deep, unconditional love for people and for equal rights. Everyone should be able to start out on equal footing regardless of race, gender, religion or any other characteristic that we delude ourselves into thinking separates us.

Of course, it doesn't stop with women's rights. There are many other things to fight for. This includes, but is not limited to: Gay Rights, Minority Race Rights, taking care of the poor, Health Care, cleaning up our food, taking the chemicals out of household products, and so many other things that I truly believe will make a kinder country and make us more able to help other countries. If we heal the hurt within this nation's walls (holler to Hawaii and Alaska, also- we love you kids and we didn't forget about you just because you're not technically in our walls!), just think of the kind of help we can offer other Nations.

I think with the current state of the Nation, it starts with voting for candidates that support laws that produce compassionate results: whether it is the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act or anything else, just think about what a candidate saying yes or no to these laws says about them as a human being, and then think about whether or not you would want them ruling your country.

I hear people say, "bleeding heart liberals" a lot. But shouldn't our hearts be bleeding? I know I've been alive a relatively short period of time, but I know enough about the world to know it's in a state of disarray and has been for a while. There is enough pain and suffering going on right now that everyone I know is going through something no matter how tiny or how large. This goes beyond politics and into the need and outcry for more compassion in the world. I think the Democratic Party is doing a better job at this right now, but I am not saying that Democrats are infallible. In fact, I voted for a couple of Republicans (GASP!) based on their personal viewpoint and issues, so I am still open to everything and attached to nothing.

Back to the point: I’m not thrilled with everything Obama does--in a perfect world we wouldn't need parties, we would just do what's right. But as far as doing what's best for a majority of Americans (AND HELLO: WOMEN ARE A MAJORITY- 50.8% according to the 2011 USA Quick Facts from the Census Bureau) I think that at this juncture, he is doing a much better job. It is just unthinkable to me that as a sensible human being you'd allow yourself to vote for someone who would purposely take away basic rights from your daughter, wife, sister, friend or lover.

Think about it. 

                                                              Here’s the Pin:

Love,

Lolo

The Catcher in the Rye

There's so much going on in my life right now and so many life lessons coming at me all at once, I am having a hard time deciding which one to process first and write down for the eyes of all the web to see. So I decided, when in doubt, do nothing. At least until later tonight...and instead, I have chosen to share a quote with you from my Favorite book of all time: The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger:

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."
- J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Ch. 22

Sometimes I really think that is all I want too. Just to be there to save people from falling and help back on their feet. I wish you could get paid to do that. Maybe you can?

More to come.

Love,

Lo

Love Your Enemies

I feel the big G.O.D. has been sending a lot of excellent lessons into my life disguised as challenging people. And while I truly appreciate the opportunity to expand my soul’s spiritual knowledge to such a high degree, mustering love in a situation when a person seems to be purposely acting annoying or cruel can be hard, but I know it is ultimately rewarding. Therefore, I’ve been pondering the best way to find the love in the eyes of people who seem to be completely alien, but who I know, in reality, are just an extension of my soul and every soul on this planet.

Obviously this type of love is amongst the hardest to access. It can also be the most rewarding, because your love can inspire the same in the soul of the person you are challenged by. Therefore increasing the level of understanding, positivity, and elevated thought in the world. While it is difficult, it is something I have worked toward and managed to maintain several times in my life, so I know I can do it again.

One person I’m working toward this with now is my downstairs, stage Mom, neighbor who keeps coming up and knocking on my door because she thinks I’m walking too loudly, amongst other seemingly ridiculous complaints. While when she yells like a manic psycho (which, I shouldn’t even be saying, because I’m trying to increase the love, but I’m human so I need to get in a little jab before I heal the wound), I’m tempted to start calling her names and classify her as bad, I know, deep down, that this will not get me anywhere. The only way to counteract her feelings of anger, possible hate and frustration are with feelings and actions of understanding, peace and support.

Dealing with this type of person is good because it tests one’s love for humanity: once the initial annoyance or desire to hate is trumped by compassion and love for these difficult people, you are much more able to love all people in your life. If you can muster compassion and empathy for someone who seems to be intentionally making your life harder, just think of how well we can love those who work to make our lives better.

So a good method to find your way to love is to remember that we are only reflections of one another. When we have problems with another human being, regardless of severity, it is worthy to ask what it reflects in us that we detest a part of another human so much. Why is what they are doing so upsetting? Is it because we are truly doing something wrong? What is going on in their life that they felt the need to act that way and how can I be more compassionate? Etc.

 Rarely do we question our reactions to the people in our lives; even as mature adults, it is fairly common to be ego-centric, so it is much easier to simply qualify other's actions negatively. However, sometimes if we simply examine ourselves we realize that the problem we held with that person was merely in our reaction, not their action.

Another thought to contemplate is the fact that you’ve probably made a person feel the way they are making you feel now at some point or another in your life. So you can either think back to that time when you may have done so, or engage in perspective taking to ponder why they might be acting the way they are. You could even ask them what is going on in their life and how you may have provoked them to act this way. Either way, once you recall or imagine it is easier not to hate, as you either have been, or could one day be in their shoes.

And if you are really having trouble seeing from their point of view, just remember that calling someone mean doesn’t make them nicer and sending someone hate doesn’t get you love. It is merely wasted energy. And since love breeds love, it is better to put that out there.

Here are my views. Take em or leave em. I’m still working out the details, but this is the outline. Feel free to express whatever tips you may have for me and my downstairs neighbs/any and all people like this in your life. Leave questions, too. Let’s make this a dialogue.

I leave you with this quote by Dr. Brian Weiss:

“I think that at the highest level all souls are connected. It is our illusion or grand delusion that we are individuated, or separate.”

^That explains it nicely, I think.

Love,

LO

You can mistake a streetlamp for the moon based on perspective

Many times in my life I have viewed something that was seemingly mundane which later snowballed into a perfect metaphor for one of life’s questions that I had been pondering.

So get ready, because you’re about to get hit with a story like that, kids. Also, be warned because this blog gets kind of personal, but I figure, if I can’t share my own life with people, what kind of blogger am I? I want people to learn from my mistakes!

Anyhow, two days ago I was on my way home from play rehearsal when my travel was halted by a Stoplight. It was in this moment that I saw it: the most beautiful and beaming full moon there had been in weeks. It looked different from any moon I had ever seen; it was inspiring to say the least. Upon further examination of this perfect specimen, I realized I was not, in fact, looking at the moon, but rather, at the brilliant, beaming…light from a streetlamp.

Besides thinking that maybe I should start wearing my glasses while driving, another interesting thought hit my mind: You can mistake a streetlamp for the moon based on perspective. Because of where I was looking, at first glance, it really did seem to be the celestial figure every human has gazed upon since the beginning of time. However, upon further investigation, it was just like every other lamp on the block.

Now, this metaphor makes sense for a couple of reasons, but it made me think mostly about love. Why, you may ask? So glad you did: I have been noticing a lot of people getting divorced lately, and, conversely, a lot of people my age getting engaged and married. I think about marriage and it feels so far off to me. Perhaps that is because I can’t imagine marrying someone who didn’t truly feel like my other half, who wasn’t the moon to my earth and vice versa. It’s not only hard to conceive that you could meet that person at such a young age, but also, that you would feel the desire to get married so young. Though, I know, it DOES happen and for a few people, it makes perfect sense.

With that being said, here’s a problem I’ve noticed: I think a lot of people marry someone who they thought (or, more closely, hoped) was their moon, but in reality, was merely a street lamp.

That’s not to say that they weren’t a grade A street lamp with an amazing bulb that brought light and joy to their partner’s life, but eventually every bulb burns out, or at the very least, flickers heavily. Nobody needs a weak strobe light kind of love.

And hey! This blog is supposed to be about the wobbly Twenties, so let’s speak about it: Don’t waste your twenties (nor, any part of your life) dating the wrong person. Live passionately and with a daring panache. Move through your life, toward your dreams, swiftly and confidently. Date along the way and if you find someone you feel to be worthy of slowing down for, or better yet, running with, and if they feel the same way about you, do it! But certainly don’t do something because it’s safe, In life or in love. As my teacher Christina said once or twice in her acting class, “Safe is boring.” And Xtina was right. Risk takers are the ones with all the stories. Gamble on holding out for a love that’s worth risking it all for.

It comes down to this: Do your partner and you have a similar thesis to your life? Do you have similarities where it counts? If the answer is no, reconsider. You don’t have to be the same person by any means, in fact, it is great to date different people because you learn from them, but if you do not agree on the fundamentals, then it will never work long-term.

Many people end up marrying for the sake of marriage, not because they found a love that felt like home. For example, I recently left (on mutual terms) a five-month relationship that was over-all quite lovely and with a great guy. Now you may be saying in your head, ‘But why would you do that, it sounds like you had it good..blah blah blah..” Before you go into that, let it be known that this man and I had some deep rooted beliefs and needs that were quite divergent, unfaltering and non-negotiable. Too many people end up marrying the people that they should have dated for five months, had an amazing time with, learned a ton with and moved on from. Why do they do this? Either they are completely delusional or, more likely, because they are afraid of being alone. DON’T DO THIS.

I can tell you from experience, you can feel much lonelier with someone than without someone. I can only imagine that this is even more true in marriage; remember, we’re talking about ETERNITY here, folks. It’s not a game. It’s not about planning a fun party. It’s about finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. That’s a beautiful thing, that should not be rushed or forced with the wrong person, but rather, gently danced through with the right one. 

Don’t settle for a streetlamp when your moon is out there walking around waiting for you to stop getting diverted by the closer, easier-to-reach light fixtures and to suck it up and take a giant leap for man kind. Or at least, love kind. Which is man kind. I wish he had said human kind. It’s more inclusive. RIP Neil Armstrong. Tangent.

Long Story Short: To quote my friend Hannah, do not accept anything less than your ideal destiny. Love doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to feel like home.

And though Shakespeare Claimed the moon was “inconstant” I beg to differ. Even when we can’t see it, or when it takes a different form, it’s always there. Kind of like love. Best. Metaphor. EVER. Goodnight.

Better Youself: Look At Your Life From An Objective Perspective- IT RHYMES!

Hello my babies. I wanted to share a realization/thought/philosophy I am currently working toward employing in my life. I have realized that it is pretty hard to heal your life when you’re constantly looking at it from an emotional perspective. Looking at yourself through the eyes of someone who is trying to protect you, rather than induce you to be your best self is debilitating, as it usually allows you to create excuses and stay trapped as a less evolved person. Thus, it seems, the only way to cure the problems that ail you is to view yourself from an objective position. How would a complete stranger view you if they saw a day in your life? What problems would they point out? How would they advise you to go about changing?

What caused me to think about this is how easy it seems to be for us to look at other people and pick out exactly what is halting their progress. Amongst my close friends, I am almost always a person who is gone to for advice. Why not employ what seems to be a natural ability in my own life? Not doing so would be quite foolish.

It is hard to admit what your problems are, but it’s even harder to live with them everyday. Take the time to elevate your thoughts enough to help yourself without feeling bad or making excuses about who you are. I’m about to go hippie on your ass, Fo Realz, so brace yourself: In looking at myself objectively I sometimes like to literally picture my soul lifting out of my body and looking down on myself and assessing the situation in a loving, kind, yet constructive way. You certainly don't have to do this, but whatever your normal person equivalent would be, go for it! Check yourself out! Really say, Who am I? And more importantly, Who did I come here to be? Then work toward aligning the answers of those questions.

Now I have a dear friend who is constantly overly critical of himself, especially considering the fact that he is one of the most wildly talented people I have ever met. A couple days ago I tweeted a short statement about this objective assessment being a key to living a better life, and he stated that when he looked at himself objectively, that’s when things go downhill for him. That is not objective. I think people think that being ultra/overly critical of oneself is objective, but that is more emotional than anything. Telling yourself how terrible you are, rather than how you can take steps to change, is a simple thought process, and in reality,  just another excuse. Being objective just means that you’re looking at your life at face value. Seeing it exactly as it is, outside of any expectations you may have had.

 If someone didn’t know you, and had no reason to be mean or kind to you looked at you, what would they say about your life, and how would they advise you to carry on most effectively? This is the question! It is lifting yourself from your baggage and saying, “How can I make this better with the tools and experiences I have at my disposal?” “What moves could I make that would create a most complete life?” You can’t let past baggage and fear of not being perfect get in the way of healing yourself at present. You’re a heck of a lot less perfect when you don’t even know what’s holding you back, than when you’re aware and working toward change and healing.

So try it out today—and report back and let me know how it goes! I’m working toward the same endeavor, so I’ll keep you updated.

Love,

Lo :-) 

Revelations 07/10/12

This blog is entitled, “Revelations”, because I understood, debunked and realized how to fix the source of my current early twenties angst whist writing. Writing can truly be such a spiritual experience. I suggest it to any wobbly-to-completely steady (aka any) soul in all of the universe. If you’re looking for catharsis, therapy, self-reflection and a little bit of God all in one, take a quill to paper (or, you know, fingers to a keyboard-technology, crazy), and write it out, bu. So, if you still feel like reading, maybe you can learn from my trials and tribulations and not have to make the same judgment errors about your life that I have been making about mine. The point is, 9/10 we are, at least in some way, creating our own problems by not properly engaging in self-reflection. So read on, if you dare, and remember: our perspective is always limited when we’re only looking two inches ahead. We must learn to see from above. That’s what I’m working on.  I feel like my soul has evolved years (or at least weeks) in minutes. Check it:

When I think of all the changes that have occurred in my life in the past year, it is slightly overwhelming. I feel like life has been silently slipping by me without my total consent. My days have become sand through my fingers, and I feel like there's nothing solid to hold on to. I guess this is the transition into real adulthood, as opposed to fake (aka college) adulthood.

The terrain I tread upon is constantly evolving, and my feelings toward my path are changing, too. My feelings and ideas fluctuate on a moment-to-moment basis. Something particularly jarring hit me yesterday, when I was talking to my boyfriend, and realized I don't have someone in this state that fully shares my humor. Of course, he understands it, and respects it, I mean, I knew he was a keeper when I started singing “Mama Mia” to him in a Carly Rae Jepsen voice and he was totally on board with it…But he is not necessarily one to sing it back, and quite frankly, I don’t really feel I have found many others yet who would either. And though it may seem like a trivial thing, it struck me as much more heartbreaking. I've only met a handful of people in my whole life who totally see through my eyes on humor and every other level. That’s not to say I don’t have lovely, and even soul connections, with many of the people I know in this sunny state, but maybe I don’t connect with them on the same level of hilarity as I would with, say, my friend Jont.

Though, when I think of it, the fact that I haven't met anyone who completely shares my humor could be because I haven't completely shared my humor with anyone. What a concept. Could it be that the truth isn’t that people don’t get that side of me, but rather, that I am not letting anyone in enough to share my soul with in that deep way? I think I may have solved the shrine of the silver monkey. Temple guards, be gone.

After all, in every place I've ever lived, I have been able to find at least two-to-three, people who view the world similarly to how I do, especially in the things we find to be funny. This place is no different. And when I think about it, in most of the other places I’ve dwelled, it took a good year or two to find my place with these soul friends. Sometimes I had known these people loosely, or even been in a friendship with them for a couple of years before we connected on the insane level of quirkiness I possess within my heart.

I think that I never allow myself to feel settled in the beginning simply because it's easier to go into every situation saying, "Well, if it doesn't work out, no pain, no loss, I never fully settled into that place anyway." And living in this place is no different. If I don’t fully make a commitment, then I can’t get hurt. This is the same reason I decided to go to MSU ten days before school started, and even after I decided to go I still said all the while, “I’ll probably only go here a year and then transfer.” Low and behold, going to Michigan State turned out to be one of the best, if not THE best, decision(s) I have made. Every subsequent positive event I've lived has sprung up as a result of choosing that school. By closing myself off and not fully committing to the place I’m in and the people I’m with right now, I’m shutting myself out of so many beautiful roads that I might travel.

I think I have been afraid to connect to this place, also, because I am afraid that if I make too many serious connections here, I will lose all of my roots. How Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants of me. But really, I am afraid to lose my tie to my home, my family& my friends, fearing they would all be replaced by a new home, a possible new family, and new friends. I guess I am just now realizing that no one could ever be replaced. Yes, perhaps old friends and I will vacillate between being really close, to not so close, and back to close again, but the fear of losing a bond that has already been formed is no reason not to create new bonds. Everyone has to grow, everyone has to change: it does no good for anyone when you hold yourself back from being your most evolved self.

As open of a person as I am, I can still be very closed off (in such a subtle way, that even I hardly detect it), if I think there’s any risk of having my heart shattered into a million pieces. I guess this is partially due to the fact that I am a human being, but I must say, I don’t fully understand this subconscious mentality of mine, as, for the most part, the people I’ve come across and really let into my life have been nothing short of limitless blessings.

I really do have faith that I will meet/already know many California quirkballs who I will share many funny, and also deep, times with. Beyond that, regardless of the fact that most of my favorite jokesters are 3000 miles away, it’s still a pretty miraculous thing to have the feeling that somebody gets you on such a deep level. That’s really very cool. So here I am Los Angeles, with an open heart and mind. LA, let me say it here and now: I am ready to let you in a little bit, as long as you can promise not to be a flaky twat.

Sorry, I needed to get one last LA jab in there.

Okay. Now I am ready to let you in. You beautiful, diverse, kind, quirky, city full of beautiful, diverse, kind, quirky people. Because if you can see it, then you can believe it, and as a result, your ideal world will become reality. Let us choose to see the beauty in the world. And if we are really having a hard time finding it, choose to create it. With love and laughter.

Lo

Blogging In Paradise

Recently I had the good fortune of spending some time on the beautiful Island of Kauai in Hawaii with my awesome parents. This trip was phenomenal not only because I was able to reconnect with my family, whom I miss so much, but also, because I was able to reconnect with nature, which, always brings about some revelations.

This morning before I left that Mecca of nature to return to the city of angels, I was taking a final dip in the saltwater lagoon. While I was swimming around I heard a small child say to his mother who was sitting outside of the water in the shade, “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you should be enjoying yourself in the water” And she said back, halfheartedly, and with a defensive overtone, “I am enjoying myself.” To me, this was a very telling metaphor.

 Now perhaps I am about to read far too deeply into this. Maybe the lady truly didn’t like getting wet and preferred to sidestep paradise in order to sit off in the shade. But my first thought was: isn’t this, sadly, how many of us lead our lives?

The beauty and the opportunity is right in front of us, waiting for us to dive, or at least dip our toes, in and we sit off to the side, lying to ourselves, saying we’re content. This is something we don’t do as children. Somehow we grow up and we decide that our lives are better off led by fear and hesitation than faith and inspiration.

Most of the time the road to our most fulfilled self isn’t that far off, but we’re simply unwilling to brave another element other than the ones we’re comfortable with. The transition, and, more deeply, the thought of the transition, from air to water is the hardest part. Once we’re submerged, we rarely want to look back to the false sense of contentment of our past.

Now Here is my challenge to you all, as well as to myself: let us skip the painful build up, and fear of transition, and commit to taking the action to be our best, most joyful selves.

Most of the time the path is much less hazy and rocky than we imagine, and it is extraordinarily freeing to release yourself of a need to feign happiness. Let us strive toward unadulterated bliss, and accept whatever lessons come our way in the meantime. And for God’s sake, if you’re in one of the most beautiful places on earth and you have the opportunity to go swimming in a magical saltwater lagoon, take it. It’s refreshing, and it might just bring about enough inspiration to change your way of living…Or at least to write a nice blog about it, or hopefully, both! ;-)

Positive thoughts and the healing power of love your way,

Lo

Nature vs. Nurture When it Comes to Reality

Sometimes I wonder: What would I think of love if no one had ever told me what love is supposed to look like? Now that is a hell of a question and one that I'm not sure I am even ready/know how to answer, at this point; nonetheless, the musing was important, as it spurned me on to think up many questions of a similar nature.

 For instance: what would I think of the capabilities of my life, had no one ever tried to disarm my innate power? Would I have any limitations had no one ever tried to convince me otherwise? Or are these limitations merely self-imposed, unaffected by outside influence?

I know I am not really breaking new ground here: the old "nature" vs. "nurture" battle has been around as long as the "chicken" or the "egg",  but still, I think it's a worthy question pattern to engage in. The reason being, is that this force of society vs. individual shows up in every area of our lives, whether we can plainly see it or not.

To understand this, we must understand the way we come to know "reality". The outside world (including society at large, friends, family, acquaintances)'s opinions and viewpoints are what create reality for us. This may sound incredibly strange at first; I know it did to me when I originally learned the concept. I first heard of this in a sociology class I took my sophomore year of college  taught by a paunchy, brilliant, old professor by the name of Jon D. Miller . He taught from a book titled, The Social Construction of Reality by  Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann.

Though the books' concepts were fascinating, it was a bit of a slow read, so I'll save you the trouble and sum it up here: Reality does not truly exist, it is created. We all have a group of  "significant others"- Friends, family, teachers, etc., who create reality for us. As this group of significant others expands, so does our concept of reality or life. Every person you meet alters and expands your view of reality, conversely, the less people you meet, the more consistent and small your understanding of reality is.

Now, the depths of positive influence understanding this idea can breed, are limitless; but to name a few: more tolerance, love, and most importantly, self empowerment, can be fostered by understanding and controlling your view of what is real.

Oddly enough, the example that Professor Miller gave to explain this concept had to do with cutlery. The idea was that your parents could have feasibly told you your whole life that a spoon was called a fork, and a fork, a spoon. Then, when you entered elementary school for the first time, you would ask the hot lunch lady for a fork, when, in reality, you wanted a spoon. Upon receiving this, you would become confused and angry, wondering why this incompetent B with the hairnet gave you a "spoon" (fork) to consume your tomato soup with. Now, Jon D. Miller may have used slightly different terminology, being a distinguished, tenured professor, but it was something like that. Something so simple, yet, so mind blowing.

Anyway,...Long story short, this concept we have of reality is only something that we have been told and consented to believe is true. Over the years we have allowed people to tell us what life really is and what is practical and impractical. This includes everything. Including the limitations we have set on our own life path. In fact, I believe, most, if not all, of our limitations are merely opinions someone told us that, that we've taken to be an absolute truth.

Now here's the challenge/True question: what if we could eschew the reality forced upon us by our well meaning, but limiting, significant others, and open our lives up to all possibilities? Most of us have, or have had dreams that some would put on the scale of grandeur. Let us no longer view them as grandeur, but instead, look at them as our reality. If someone tells you otherwise, that's their understanding of reality, not yours.

 Since reality is socially constructed, anyway, who is anyone to say you can't go ahead and construct the reality you desire? It is my thought, that if we do this, we are making a verbal and visual contract with the Universe and God to help us achieve our dreams. People and opportunities will appear in your life to help you achieve your reality, because the universe desires to be in harmony with your thought pattern and will even create miracles to make it happen.

Believe your desired reality with an absolute persistence and tunnel vision--go toward it confidently until you reach it. Remember that there are no mistakes, for as the great Napoleon Hill of, Think and Grow Rich said, "Every failure brings with it the seeds of success." How true this is. If you believe and have undying persistence it's only a matter of time until you knock down all roadblocks and break through to your ideal destiny. In the meantime, you must believe it and desire it as if it were already the life you are living. Go for it, baby!

<3  Lo

In This Lonely City, A Poem

I wrote a poem about this city of Angels I’ve been living in for the past few months of my life. While I have found there to be an abundance of beautiful things and people here in LALA Land, there are definitely times when this city’s lack of a collective voice can get to me. What I realized, though, is that if you can be yourself regardless of where you are or who you are with, then you will always find bliss. It is up to us to disconnect from the junk around us and realize our complete and utter control to only accept positive aspects of the world as our truth. Though a bulk of this poem depicts the quirks of Hollywood, the moral of the story is that if you’re lonely, or unhappy, it isn’t your location’s fault. It’s up to you to see beauty in everything and everyone you meet, and to see the connections and love, even in a seemingly lonely city.

The Lonely City

Millions of people

Worlds away

Disconnected purposefully

“Creating" themselves.

In this lonely city.

Trapped behind their shades

In the darkness of the sun

Content in false happiness

Everything is distorted.

In this lonely city.

Climbing the invisible ladder

Scavenging for scraps

Sticking their toes in ice cold water

Faking it until they find out they didn’t want to make it

In this lonely city

Let’s do lunch

I forgot

Cancel last minute

Something just came up

In this lonely city.

I got cast!

I got used!

I got Tan!

Well, spray tanned.

In this lonely city

On the stage

Behind the screen

Under the lights

Anyone can seem a star

In this lonely city.

I am hurt

I am Lost

I am just one

In this lonely city

I am true

I fall hard

I live deep

In this lonely city

How does one find art?

How does one find home?

How does one find peace?

In this lonely city

Remember where you came from

Find the connections

And let your soul roam free
It’s up to you

Even in this lonely city.