The ability to change a life. It's something we all have within us. We have the ability to change and better not only our own lives, but also, those of others. Today I would like to take a moment to talk about a person who profoundly affected the human being I am today. Without him I have no idea where I would be. I've told him so many times that he bettered my life, but it's about time the whole world knows, or at the very least, the readers of my blog.
Now let's take a quick tram down memory lane: It was 1998, I had just finished second grade. Going into second grade I was confident, goofy, loud and quirky. I had a ton of friends and an enjoyment for school. Leaving second grade I was scared, insecure, lonely and the least myself that I have ever been in my life. What happened, you may ask? The simple answer is that I had a teacher that year who destroyed my self esteem. She took a bright, outgoing, self-aware child, and turned her into a cowering, shy and afraid one.
She made me feel stupid any time I tried to talk or answer a question, I felt completely voiceless and certainly unworthy of any praise. I would make up stomach aches so I wouldn't have to go to school. My Parents tried to help the best they knew how, but there’s only so much you can do from outside the classroom. I can honestly say this was one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult years of my life. I know it sounds strange to hear that about such a young age, but as anyone who has studied psychology, communication or just been alive knows, your childhood sets up the precedent for the rest of your life. The things that happen when you are but a babe can be the most jarring because you are innocent and don't expect the world to ever be cruel.
I have one vivid memory where we were all on the playground and I purposely isolated myself because I couldn't imagine why someone would want to play with me. When I think of this moment I just want to go back to my seven year-old self, give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay. It breaks my heart. While I was sitting there alone, my dear childhood friend Katie approached me and said, "Lauren, come play with us, we don't want you sitting alone." That moment always sticks out in my head as such a brave act of kindness from another person who was also only a child, and yet, had so much compassion, courage and empathy. Thanks Girl. Beyond that sweet memory, there aren’t a lot of terribly great ones from that school year, and it is absolutely frightful to think that I allowed someone to take away my power so easily. Now as a 7/8 year-old, most of us don't know much better than to believe that the superiors in our life are smart enough to tell us the truth, but it is still gutwrenching to me that I allowed that to happen.
So as you can imagine, I left this year feeling like I wasn't intelligent, with a low self esteem and not too excited about the thought of school. Fast forward through the summer where I had some fun in the sun, recovered a bit and got ready to enter third grade. Now, I don't know how it happened but somehow I got slotted into a class with a woman who was extremely harsh, not very generous of spirit and long-story-short, much like my teacher the year before. After a couple weeks of enduring her questionable teaching method, my parents and I realized this wasn't going to be okay to go through again. By the grace of God, we went in and had a meeting with the principal who recommended I switch classses to a guy named Mr. Swansey. Now at first I was all like, "What? A boy teacher? Dat be cray!" But then I started to think this Swans guy sounded like he was pretty top notch.
I still remember the first day of class. I had gotten up early, which so rarely happened, and got dressed in my third grade finest, which was probably a Nautica sweater and some stretchy slacks.* I remember I had the feeling of excitement about going to school for the first time in a very long time. Mr. Swansey welcomed me in and we started to talk. It was amazing, because even the environment of that class room was different. When students walked in the door, many of them gave me a hug and welcomed me to class. I felt comfortable and ready to rock for the first time in so long. This can be attributed solely to the type of classroom that Mr. Swansey had set up. He created a space in which students could be friendly and loving, a space where they could support one another.
On that day it was like my whole world flipped around. It was as if walking into that classroom injected the life back in me that has been sucked out the year before. I really believe it was that year, that I decided to be smart. To this day I would never say I am the most book smart person in the room, but I think I am often the hardest worker, which puts me right up there with the smartest. I learned with tenacity, drive and a bit of brain power, you can learn most anything you want to. I still remember the first time we did long division in that class. I was getting it! It made sense! I was so excited! I remember Mr. Swansey looked over my shoulder and said, "Look at Miss. LoGrasso go!" It makes me tear up to think back and remember how much it meant to me to be complimented on how well I was doing at something that I had never received good feedback for. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard at things that didn't come naturally, because I knew that if I worked hard enough, I could be good at it.
He was also the first teacher who made me realize I am writer. I remember I wrote some weird story about the Titanic and how I (Or whatever I named the main character--who was really just an alias for Lauren LoGrasso) was able to save the ship from sinking by going back in time and warning everyone about the looming bergs. He complimented me on it with such sincerity that I knew I had something going on that was special. Without that, who knows if I ever would have had the gusto to keep developing those skills and become the songwriter/sketchwriter/blogger/tweeter (Wink), I am today.
I remember doing these 100 word spelling tests in his class, three days in a row. They were really difficult. I made a deal with my Dad that if I got 100% on all of them we would go to Greenfield Village. I got 100 on two and 99% on one. I started crying because I thought my Greenfield village dreams were done for. Mr. Swansey, ever the rational one, told me in so many words that I was being ridiculous, that my parents are lovely people and would probably still take me even though I got one word wrong. He was right. I got to hang out at the Colonial wonder world all day long, and even learned a valuable lesson: it's okay to not be perfect as long as you always try your very best. That's what perfect really is, anyway, putting all the effort you can muster into being your best self. Not only that, but If I had not taken those tests, and gained the confidence that I knew how to memorize, and use the words correctly, who knows if I ever would have been able to recite a shakespeare monologue, learn and write songs quickly or even write this blog.
There are truly countless examples I could give of how this incredible educator changed my life, but the point I am trying to hammer home is that the things you teach kids, and the confidence you instill in them, directly affects their future lives. If I hadn't been taught these important lessons and life skills in the third grade, who knows if ever would have. You really can't take what I teacher does for granted.
To the teachers out there, whether you have a degree and teach in an elementary school, middle school or high school, do freelance tutoring or are just someone who leads by example in their everyday life, never take your job for granted. For in two simple years one teacher completely urraveled who I was, and another teacher picked up the tattered thread and sewed me back together even better than I was before. You have the power to make or break a student. Do everything you can to build them up.
Children understand how human beings are supposed to be: open-hearted, kind and always assuming the best in people. Help them to stay that way for as long as possible. Do not trap students into self fulling prophecies. Teach them to work hard, to respect and love one another, and to count on you. There is no profession more noble or important on this planet than to teach another human being. Teachers make the politicians, musicians, doctors, lawyers, peace makers, future teachers, etc., so therefore, they are all these things too. You are the modern day spiritual leaders. Teach the children love. For themselves, for their fellow human being and for the world at large.
To this day Mr. Swansey and I are still in touch and talk often. He came to most of my play performances in middle school, high school and college. He was my special guest at high school graduation as I gave a speech to my entire graduating class. He has been and continues to be my mentor and confidant and I hope from time to time I've even been able to be that for him. He has supported me from day one. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Mr. Rand Swansey. Without you I could not be me. You are my hero.
<3
Miss. LoGrasso :-)
PS- I think he also helped me become the loud mouth I am today because come spring he had to temporarily put my desk up against the chalk board, so I couldn't talk to the other students during class. This time I was isolated because I was too confident and talked too much. I said to him, "I feel rude not talking to someone when they start talking to me.”, and he told me I could say to them, "I am sorry, but I can't talk right now because I am trying to learn." Oh the difference a year and a great teacher can make!
*RIP Jacobsons which provided me with the entirety of my grade school closet
