The Art of Being Bad At Something

Just call me Revelation Sally, because I have a big one to share. I was wondering, wracking my brain about why I am not already a regular Jimmy Hendrix after two years of playing guitar, and I realized something very important: We get older and we forget the art of being bad at something.

Yes, there’s an art. Do you remember the first sentence you wrote, or the first time you danced, or the first time you painted a picture? No? That’s because you were probably terrible at it and didn’t know what you were doing. But you want to know what’s great about that? You didn’t care how terribly misspelled your sentence was,or what your dance looked like, or if your picture was just a blob of paint. The most important part was that you were having fun and didn’t understand judging yourself negatively was an option. 

All you were doing was taking what you learned and putting it to use. And if you continued to do what you learned, and continued to not judge yourself, you probably traveled on to be pretty good at the activity and, perhaps, even an expert. So the first key to getting better at something, and even traveling to being an expert at something, is to refrain from judging yourself.

The second key is to just keep doing it. We often give up citing frustration over not gaining success with a given activity, art or job fast enough. Well, when you’re comparing what you’re just starting, to other skills that you have been practicing for pretty much your entire life, the new activity doesn’t have a chance in hell. Take my guitar-playing situation. I have often compared it to signing. I have been singing since I could talk and taking lessons since I was 14. There is NO WAY that I could possibly compare these newly acquired skills, to ones I have been honing for almost all my life. It would be like comparing a two year-old’s verbal skills to that of a 22 year old. It’s just a wildly unfair competition.

The two year old still needs many years to grow, to learn, and gain damn motor skills. I read that it takes in 10,000 hours to become an expert on any given subject or art. I am probably 5-10% of the way there. That’s a lot of hours to go, son!

In conclusion, the third, and most important key is to embrace the art of being bad at something. In other words: enjoy the learning process. Know that unless you are a prodigy, this is something you’ve gone through many times before and conveniently forgotten. Even the greatest artists, musicians, scientists and poets were novices at some point. No matter what the task is, if you keep at it, refrain from judgement and learn to enjoy the process of learning, you will get better. 

Good luck on your journey from Bad to Expert.

With Love,

Lauren :-) 

A Rant About Spiritual Wealth

If you get everything you want all the time then you never take the time to understand most painful lessons, which are, likewise, the most fruitful lessons for your soul. You need to know what's truly important outside of the physical world, and unless you go through suffering, you never really get the chance to fully comprehend that. When I think of my deepest goals in life, allI really want to do is connect to the my fellow human beings and share the love I've learned--to make sure that whatever I do in my life is an expression of that. I thank God that I've had the chance to learn the truth, and also, that I am open enough to hear new truths each day. I love people, I love this earth and I want to give back to it. I love every creature on the planet,  I love God, I love that I am a part of everything and everyone. Love is the answer. The only answer that heals. The only answer that can take you through to the end and beyond. Everything good is coming to me and I'm giving out everything good...In other words I will not give the world energy that does not serve it and I will not accept energy that does not serve me. I have unyielding gratitude for everyone I meet and I learn from both every blessing and every suffering in my life. I have spiritual wealth. This can never be taken away from me. It is possible to have every possesion, every title you wear and even every person taken away from you...But no human or outside force can ever take away your spiritual blessings-the love you give and receive, that’s yours to keep. If you can base your life on these principles, dispose of your ego and learn to look at all outside forces (your status, job, possessions) as something that can serve your inner life, but that never define it, then, and only then, are you able to find meaning and peace.

I hope you just enjoyed my random stream of consciousness about the meaning of life.

Love,

Lo :)

The First Americans

We love to call out Genocide
A nation built on "Savior's" pride
It seems so easy to forget
Our country rests on unpaid debt

They took advantage of your kindness
Trampled down your history
Stole from you with rampant blindness
Burned the roots of wise oak trees

We thought we had it figured out
The new found world, so big, so bold
We all know the words of our story
But the first American's goes untold.

Notice how they never smite us
They just wish we undersood
That each spirit is connected
And only love will do us good.

So if you can before you leave
Take a moment to learn
The story of our true forefathers
It's time their truth be heard.

Technology--Empathy---Robots

I am sick of getting emails from robots. I feel like, back in the day, people used to email each other because it was a quick way to get a personal message from one body to another. Now a-days, it’s always robots trying to solicit you, or, if you’re lucky, it’s a business email. I find myself leaping at the chance to open up an email that is from an actual warm-bodied human being...Even if the topic may be unpleasant. I am so happy to find that another person took the time to write to me, even if it’s just about a business matter. If a person actually just writes me to say hello or tell me they care, it’s a bonanza in my house. It makes my heart more warm than you can imagine--I get so excited!

On another tangent, I feel like the amount of technology we have is ironically getting to a point where it’s debilitating, rather than helpful. I feel it is taking away the one real advantage human beings have over other animals which is empathy. You see, everything is just too easy. There aren’t enough consequences on a personal, human level. People can just say whatever they want to withouth looking the person they’ve just injured in the eyes.  You always don’t have to spend as much time laboring over how to say something to someone or what to do because you can just text them. It has the potential to turn people (especially young kids) into low-level sociopaths, if we’re not careful.

We also use these technology as a crutch. There have been many times where I have chosen to watch Netflix, text or peruse social media over dealing with how I actually felt, because, well, it made me feel better than sitting and dealing with myself. Techonology has made it supremely easy to pretend like everything is going great when really you’re crumbling. It has allowed us to focus on only select part of ourselves without really getting into the gritty stuff. Unfortunately, unless we allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge the unpleasant aspects of our lives, we cannot grow.

Technology has made it easier to deceive everyone, most importantly (and detrimentally), ourselves. I think I have a real compulsion to delve into the technology world whenever I start to feel unpleasant/uncomfortable feelings. Honestly, at this point grabbing your phone is the modern day equivalent of drinking-it lowers your inhibitions, it makes you feel “cool” and like you belong. Much like alcohol, it is simply a temporary solution to a much bigger problem that has the potential to be solved, if you just put down the phone and look at yourself.. I am challenging myself to do this, will you do it too? I hope so. Let’s bring back caring about people (including ourselves) more than machines.

Love,

Lo

Nothing Human is Alien To Me

Together we stand, but standing, or seated, we're never really apart. It is our great tragedy that we, as humans, believe we can ever be separate from one another. We are connected to every person and every action each person produces. Above all, I know this to be true.

There is one quote from Maya Angelou that forever changed my perspective and "accidentally" propelled me into becoming a songwriter, "I am a Human Being, nothing Human can be Alien to me". This quote explains life on this planet perfectly, as far as I can see it. Maya explains this line by saying something to the effect of, "I realized, that as a person, I am capable of the greatest good that a human can do, and with that, also, the most atrocious evil."

We must have the awareness that when we perform positive acts, a collective pulse of joy travels through the souls of the world, and in contrast, that when we put out evil, a collective cry is experienced in every soul. Therefore, we have no room to judge anyone else, and can only go toward understanding, as when you judge or condemn another, you are ultimately judging and condemning yourself. I've said it before, and I'll continue to say it until my dying day, but the simple fact of the matter is that if unconditional love for ourselves and our fellow human was our number one goal, everything else would fall into place. Work to make love your first reaction.

As Maya says, "If we can do that [see that we are capable of] about the negative, just think of what we can do about the positive." In other words, since light always trumps darkness, if we, as humans, are capable of the most heinous crimes, then we, as humans, are also capable of an even greater level of the most miraculous good. For even Jesus said, "Even the least among you is capable of all I have done and GREATER." Greater! That is so inspiring to me. That a person who literally created miracles through love is telling me and all of my fellow species-mates that we are capable of even greater miracles! The thought alone brings tears to my eyes.

There is so much evidence in the world of the obstacles love, understanding and truth can overcome. Why don't we commit today to understand instead of condemn, to love instead of hate and to be honest instead of living a lie. See a reflection of yourself in everyone you meet. Love the reflection you see. Remember, what we don't like in other people most often reveals what we don't like in ourselves. It's called projection. Stop it. Learn that when you hurt one you hurt all. So choose to help many. Love until it hurts, hurt until it heals. And know that we can never be divided.

Whether we like it or not, we can never separate from where we came. We are all connected through the soul. We are all of the same source. We are one.

The Maya Video :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe-6h0T2qt4, this one talk inspired me to write my first song:

My Song: "Nothing Human":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFGNozHHWeg

Sending you love,

Lo :-D

Anger Is A Warning

The truth is, someone never takes away your power unless you let them. What state of mind do you have to be in to think it’s acceptable for love to look like judgement and anger? Why do we allow ourselves to feel loyalty to someone who hasn’t earned it? I think I am way too trusting, loving and kind for my own good. I give people too many chances. I believe in people’s goodness too much. It helps me, but often times, it also hurts me.

How do you strike up the balance between being strong and being kind? It’s something I’m still working on and haven’t figured out just yet. When someone comes at me in a way that is unkind, I often shut down. What should I do? I guess one tactic would be to say, “I can’t talk to you when you are acting this way”. I could also meet their anger, but that feels foreign and wrong. In my heart I know it’s ineffective and it only makes me feel more unsettled. I believe a good compromise would be to match their negative emotion level with a positive emotion level of kindness.

It’s not fair because even though kindness and love are more powerful and energetic emotions, anger is the one that sticks out because it’s a warning. It’s inoculating our emotional sense memory for future occurrences when your heart might be unsafe, where you may be vulnerable.

I guess if this is a similar occurrence that keeps coming up with a person, the best thing to do is leave the situation. But what if they are working on it? And it does get better each time it happens. But the fact is it’s still happening. And even if that person is working on it, there’s no guarantee that the instinct  will ever go away.

So my main question is when do you get to the point where you’re giving love and goodheartedness too much credit and not giving anger, competitiveness and cruelty enough? Their power to wound the soul may just cancel out love’s ability to heal it. How can love grow in a place where war abounds? It cannot.

What to do, what to do...

Let Go And Do Your Best

I want to rid myself of this looming veil of sadness I always seem to carry with me. I regret to say that this wallowing feeling has been present in even my brightest moments. I guess it's not that it was present, but rather, that I knew it would return. Is that case, perhaps it was me that inserted it back into my life with my subconscious mind. Is this feeling part of being an artist? If so, I think I'd prefer to be a Buddhist artist. More zen. Best of both worlds...I wish I wanted something simple sometimes.

And honestly, it's not like this undercurrent of feeling even really bothers me. It certainly doesn't interfere with my everyday life. It's more of a dull ache that can be lived with forever. The worry is that it is keeping me from leading my BEST, most productive life.  I'd rather just do some emotional physical therapy and work it out, so that I can get to the root of it and rid myself of this feeling forever. The truth of it is, unproductive emotions really have no place in a mover and shaker's existence. I see glimpses of true, pure happiness, and even bliss, but if you let the negativity creep in for even a second, it can be fairly easy to find yourself on a roller coaster of destructive thoughts.

One method to rid yourself of this, I think, is to feel what you need to feel, but recognize when you're creating something that isn't there or wallowing in an emotion that should have passed. I also notice this feeling tends to crop up when I try to control something that is out of my hands. I've written and theorized about this before, but clearly I need to reexamine it. The feeling that I had the ability to control something that turned out with an undesirable outcome provides an easy path to beating yourself up. As I always say, cliches are cliches for a reason, and if we can just learn to let go, let God, I think we can find our way to a more stable happiness. We simply need to acknowledge what we don't have power over and make sure to always do our best in every situation. If we can do these things honestly, then I feel the road to contentment will gently lay itself out in front of our feet.

This is something I am going to work on: acknowledging what I can and cannot control, and striving to do my best in every situation. I think this is a start.

More later!

Over and out,

Lauren :-D

Lessons Learned From Eavesdropping

I have a confession to make: If you are talking within 10-15 feet of me, I will eavesdrop. I don't look at it as nosy, so much as, looking for insight into the human experience. And quite frankly, if you really didn't want me to hear, you would have either moved farther away or spoken in a softer voice.

So here's the deal: I am sitting at my job at the Yoga Studio minding my own business (sort of), doing my zen ambassador thing (aka, being the receptionist), when these two ladies post up on the notorious yoga studio bench and start hashing out the past 10 years of their dysfuncitonal relationships. This is fine. It's common. It's something we've seen and had modeled to us throughout the years in various Films and Television shows, namely Sex In The City. But as I sat there, I couldn't help but wonder*, isn't there an age when the bullshit ends, and we just grow the fuck up?

These women are in their forties. They have lived through a significant portion of life, and undoubtedly, relationships. Why is the conversation still the same as it was when they were sixteen?

Now this is something I am asking myself as a 24 year-old woman, but I feel if I were 44, working through the same issues, it would be a constant question ringing in my head. I have to think that if you are continually having these problems with dating and relationships, at a certain point, it comes down to the way you are picking and a lack of willingness to learn from your past experiences.

This pattern of refusing to learn from past pain is actually rude to yourself. It's saying, "Hey, self, I know you went through some really tough stuff in the relationship before this, but I am going to be a jackass to you and forget all of the hurt you went through. I am going to ignore the warning signs, and continue on, because, it's better than being alone, right?"

Wrong. No. If you haven't taken the time to sift through your past entanglements and question what there was to learn, then you shouldn't be jumping into another. The way to be a better person, to have good communication, and to choose a healthy partner, is by dissecting your past experiences and asking why.

So I guess the answer I am coming to is, no, there is no logical reason to be repeating the same dating patterns you engaged in when you were a young girl in your mid-to-late adult life (and even in your early life), unless they worked for you. Futhermore, if you keep experiencing these unpleasant courtships, then there must be some part of you that is addicted to the drama. I suggest exploring that.

But I couldn't tell those chicks what I was thinking, because they didn't even know I was listening. But they totally did. Hopefully they don't know I am blogging, though. Can I get sued for this?

Anyway, I am vowing here to learn. Because I don't want to be 40-something, sitting on a yoga bench, having some 24-year-old listen to my conversation and go home to write a blog about me. I also want  to be happy. When you know better, you do better. You understand.

Alright, over and out!

<3 Lolo

*Shout to Carrie Bradshaw who said that phrase in every episode and also made the same mistakes over and over again when she should have just figured it out.

The Most Important Profession: An Ode To My Third Grade Teacher

The ability to change a life. It's something we all have within us. We have the ability to change and better not only our own lives, but also, those of others. Today I would like to take a moment to talk about a person who profoundly affected the human being I am today. Without him I have no idea where I would be. I've told him so many times that he bettered my life, but it's about time the whole world knows, or at the very least, the readers of my blog.

Now let's take a quick tram down memory lane: It was 1998, I had just finished second grade. Going into second grade I was confident, goofy, loud and quirky. I had a ton of friends and an enjoyment for school. Leaving second grade I was scared, insecure, lonely and the least myself that I have ever been in my life. What happened, you may ask? The simple answer is that I had a teacher that year who destroyed my self esteem. She took a bright, outgoing, self-aware child, and turned her into a cowering, shy and afraid one.

She made me feel stupid any time I tried to talk or answer a question, I felt completely voiceless and certainly unworthy of any praise. I would make up stomach aches so I wouldn't have to go to school.  My Parents tried to help the best they knew how, but there’s only so much you can do from outside the classroom. I can honestly say this was one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult years of my life. I know it sounds strange to hear that about such a young age, but as anyone who has studied psychology, communication or just been alive knows, your childhood sets up the precedent for the rest of your life. The things that happen when you are but a babe can be the most jarring because you are innocent and don't expect the world to ever be cruel.

I have one vivid memory where we were all on the playground and I purposely isolated myself because I couldn't imagine why someone would want to play with me. When I think of this moment I just want to go back to my seven year-old self, give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay. It breaks my heart. While I was sitting there alone, my dear childhood friend Katie approached me and said, "Lauren, come play with us, we don't want you sitting alone." That moment always sticks out in my head as such a brave act of kindness from another person who was also only a child, and yet, had so much compassion, courage and empathy. Thanks Girl. Beyond that sweet memory, there aren’t a lot of terribly great ones from that school year, and it is absolutely frightful to think that I allowed someone to take away my power so easily. Now as a 7/8 year-old, most of us don't know much better than to believe that the superiors in our life are smart enough to tell us the truth, but it is still gutwrenching to me that I allowed that to happen.

So as you can imagine, I left this year feeling like I wasn't intelligent, with a low self esteem and not too excited about the thought of school. Fast forward through the summer where I had some fun in the sun, recovered a bit and got ready to enter third grade. Now, I don't know how it happened but somehow I got slotted into a class with a woman who was extremely harsh, not very generous of spirit and long-story-short, much like my teacher the year before. After a couple weeks of enduring her questionable teaching method, my parents and I realized this wasn't going to be okay to go through again. By the grace of God, we went in and had a meeting with the principal who recommended I switch classses to a guy named Mr. Swansey. Now at first I was all like, "What? A boy teacher? Dat be cray!" But then I started to think this Swans guy sounded like he was pretty top notch.

I still remember the first day of class. I had gotten up early, which so rarely happened, and got dressed in my third grade finest, which was probably a Nautica sweater and some stretchy slacks.* I remember I had the feeling of excitement about going to school for the first time in a very long time. Mr. Swansey welcomed me in and we started to talk. It was amazing, because even the environment of that class room was different. When students walked in the door, many of them gave me a hug and welcomed me to class. I felt comfortable and ready to rock for the first time in so long. This can be attributed solely to the type of classroom that Mr. Swansey had set up. He created a space in which students could be friendly and loving,  a space where they could support one another.

On that day it was like my whole world flipped around. It was as if walking into that classroom injected the life back in me that has been sucked out the year before. I really believe it was that year, that I decided to be smart. To this day I  would never say I am the most book smart person in the room, but I  think I am often the hardest worker, which puts me right up there with the smartest.  I learned with tenacity, drive and a bit of brain power, you can learn most anything you want to.  I still remember the first time we did long division in that class. I was getting it! It made sense! I was so excited!  I remember Mr. Swansey looked over my shoulder and said, "Look at Miss. LoGrasso go!" It makes me tear up to think back and remember how much it meant to me to be complimented on how well I was doing at something that I had never received good feedback for. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard at things that didn't come naturally, because I knew that if I worked hard enough, I could be good at it.

He was also the first teacher who made me realize I am writer. I remember I wrote some weird story about the Titanic and how I (Or whatever I named the main character--who was really just an alias for Lauren LoGrasso) was able to save the ship from sinking by going back in time and warning everyone about the looming bergs. He complimented me on it with such sincerity that I knew I had something going on that was special. Without that, who knows if I ever would have had the gusto to keep developing those skills and become the songwriter/sketchwriter/blogger/tweeter (Wink), I am today.

I remember doing these 100 word spelling tests in his class, three days in a row. They were really difficult. I made a deal with my Dad that if I got 100% on all of them we would go to Greenfield Village. I got 100 on two and 99% on one. I started crying because I thought my Greenfield village dreams were done for. Mr. Swansey, ever the rational one, told me in so many words that I was being ridiculous, that my parents are lovely people and would probably still take me even though I got one word wrong. He was right. I got to hang out at the Colonial wonder world all day long, and even learned a valuable lesson: it's okay to not be perfect as long as you always try your very best. That's what perfect really is, anyway, putting all the effort you can muster into being your best self.  Not only that, but If I had not taken those tests, and gained the confidence that I knew how to memorize, and use the words correctly, who knows if I ever would have been able to recite a shakespeare monologue, learn and write songs quickly or even write this blog.

There are truly countless examples I could give of how this incredible educator changed my life, but the point I am trying to hammer home is that the things you teach kids, and the confidence you instill in them, directly affects their future lives. If I hadn't been taught these important lessons and life skills in the third grade, who knows if ever would have. You really can't take what I teacher does for granted.

To the teachers out there, whether you have a degree and teach in an elementary school, middle school or high school, do freelance tutoring or are just someone who leads by example in their everyday life, never take your job for granted. For in two simple years one teacher completely urraveled who I was, and another teacher picked up the tattered thread and sewed me back together even better than I was before. You have the power to make or break a student. Do everything you can to build them up.

Children understand how human beings are supposed to be: open-hearted, kind and always assuming the best in people. Help them to stay that way for as long as possible. Do not trap students into self fulling prophecies. Teach them to work hard, to respect and love one another, and to count on you. There is no  profession more noble or important on this planet than to teach another human being. Teachers make the politicians, musicians, doctors, lawyers, peace makers, future teachers, etc., so therefore, they are all these things too. You are the modern day spiritual leaders. Teach the children love. For themselves, for their fellow human being and for the world at large.

To this day Mr. Swansey and I are still in touch and talk often. He came to most of my play performances in middle school, high school and college. He was my special guest at high school graduation as I gave a speech to my entire graduating class. He has been and continues to be my mentor and confidant and I hope from time to time I've even been able to be that for him. He has supported me from day one. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Mr. Rand Swansey. Without you I could not be me. You are my hero.

<3

Miss. LoGrasso :-)

PS- I think he also helped me become the loud mouth I am today because come spring he had to temporarily put my desk up against the chalk board, so I couldn't talk to the other students during class. This time I was isolated because I was too confident and talked too much. I said to him, "I feel rude not talking to someone when they start talking to me.”, and he told me I could say to them, "I am sorry, but I can't talk right now because I am trying to learn." Oh the difference a year and a great teacher can make!

*RIP Jacobsons which provided me with the entirety of my grade school closet

Give Me Authenticity Or Give Me Death

Betrayal of oneself is possibly the most egregious spiritual crime. If you are willing to forsake your own soul for the sake of any seeming reward, then you have no chance whatsoever of being true to someone else. You cannot possibly see the road to happiness and fulfillment when you are focused on other's opinions and how to make your outward self more appealing. This need for outward validation is why we generally betray ourselves, right? We think: "I don't really want to do this", our intuition says, "this isn't right", but we go forth anyway, because we are worried about other's opinions and how we might look.

Why do we do this? In my own life, I have often betrayed my soul because I thought, "What will people say if I don't do this?" "Won't I be ashamed?", "Will I feel like a failure if I don't have monetary success?". The preceding questions exemplify the ego at its worst and most perilous state.

I have come to realize something: There is no greater shame than lacking the courage to follow your heart. Nothing is beneath me except being false to myself. That is far beneath me. And I hope it is beneath you too. There is no way we can possibly, respect, support, trust and love each other if we cannot do that for ourselves. All we leave this world with are our connections to each other: how we made each other feel and how well we loved. That is the only damn thing in this whole world that remains. Why take away this great spiritual gift?

I think about this in particular in regard to the feeling of shame society can bestow upon us for not having a high profile job. I really wish money didn't exist. I wish we could all be a bunch of hippies running around bartering, and focusing on following our souls. However, since it does, and since we live in a capitalistic culture we need to find a way to be validated by spiritual wealth instead of the fleeting physical wealth. 

I know that if I had taken the "Natural Track" I could have a really nice, high-paying job, sitting in an office somewhere while my soul slowly withered alway along with my self-respect and passion for life. I would rather scrape around the world for years, going from vagabond job to vagabond job that surrender my soul to an institution I don't believe in. I know I will have success in the arts I am pursuing because I am doing it with absolute integrity and soul. Passion does not even begin to describe the way I feel about the messages I put forth through singing, writing, acting and teaching. Even if I end up in a place that's different from what I envisioned, I am one hundred percent sure that if I go forth with an open, honest heart, and with respect and honor for my deepest self, I will prevail.

Give me Authenticity or give me death! Really, if you aren't real with yourself, your happiness, light and love die. So while it sounds like an extreme statement, it's actually quite true. The only way we will find our path to enlightenment and love, lies within ourselves, not in anything physical we can conceive. So I challenge you all, as I challenge myself to focus on what's within: Nourish your inner self. Respect the being you came here to be. And for God's sake, be authentic. Everyone can smell a phony coming from a mile away and it's not too attractive. I really believe all the world's deepest issues start in self betrayal, so starting today, I ask you to be faithful to your soul. I can't wait to see the positive influence your honest and trustworthy self will have on the world!

Love,

Lo :)

A Soul Too Big For My Body

I've heard quotes from famous theorists who say our goal on this Earth is to find a way to expand our soul to its maximum potential, while it's still contained in our physical bodies. Here's the problem I'm having with that goal: Sometimes I feel I was given a soul too big for my body. A soul that will make my body break into a million pieces if it expands to its largest potential. 

For my whole life it seems to have been bursting at the seams, begging to be let out, to be set free, to be seen separate of this flesh that has long held it back. It could have been split between many different bodies and possibly been okay. But to love so much and so deeply, and to be begging for freedom all within the confines of one lump of flesh is sometimes more than I can bear. 

Perhaps the burden of soul, so large can be alleviated if we can come to see that having many passionate desires is not a bad thing, as many would have us believe, but rather, a blessing. I've decided that my goal is to live many mini lives within this large one. I think my thrashing soul is an opportunity to do just that. So rather that feeling insane for having so many things that you love, and for loving them all so deeply, we can take that deep love and apply it to living a fuller life. Fear not, colossal souls of the universe: There's a place for you. There's a place for us all. 

Nothing but love,

Lo

Dating Food For Thought

I've realized recently that if you love people enough, and are open enough, you can have a romantic relationship with almost anyone. It doesn't mean you should, though, and it also doesn't meant that, that person is your best match. Be sure to decipher the difference between a person who you have warm feelings toward as a human being, and someone who you have an authentic spark with. This is something to keep in mind as you go about your days in search of a proper mate. I need to remember this, also. Loving people is great, but you have to possess the wherewithal to know the difference between a general love of humanity and that extra punch that a genuine connection packs. Hit me baby one more time. 

Blessings,

Lo

62 Years of Love

My Grandparents were married for 62 years before my Grandpa passed away this past January. I wanted to share a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa on his 70th Birthday. This small bit of writing alone gives me faith that the love we have all dreamed of exits in the world. Read up for inspiration:

Dear Larry My One & Only,

When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible. 

This birthday gives me a chance to thank you for the miracle of you. You are & always will be the love of my life forever.
Happy Birthday with all my love,
Elida
*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren

And now one from Grandpa--> 

 

From Your Sweetheart Larry

TO ELIDA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, ON HER 70TH BIRTHDAY
MAY YOU HAVE INFINITELY MORE YEARS TO COME.

You always have given yourself to your family & others. Your love, understanding, time, labor, making drapes, shears, curtains, etc. Baby sitting your Grand children doing for your Family and Other's. We all love You.

I remember the first time I set eyes on you at Harry & Almas where Joe was playing at the time. You came in with Santa & Co. I was with someone else at the time. I was mesmerized with your beauty. It was love at first sight. I knew then I would marry you if you would have me. Proof of that was that I proposed on our second or third date. I always thought love at first sight, was a lot of bull, but believe me, it wasn't. 

I might have been the bull, but you were the Matador. You put the Sword in my heart for life. They used to Call me the Sicilian Sword, when I was young, but my northern Italian Beauty got my heart forever. You have given me 5 Wonderful Children and five (6 now) Beautiful GrandChildren. You have given me 46 years of love, encouragement, friendship, companionship.
 

You truly are my Love, Best Friend, my Ginger Rogers Dance Partner.
I would be lost without you. I hope and pray that we can dance the Lindy together till we are 100+ years old. I love you with all my heart. P.S. Even when you get after me for my T.V.'s, Pitney Bowes/Insurance supplies and 28 File Cabinets and my procrastination.
 

Love,
 

Lar The Sicilian Sword :=)

Grandpa, A Life Of Love

Hello Friends,

This is going to be more of a bloggy-blog. I think. I just want to talk about where I’m at. Honesty is key. I want to talk about my Grandpa, mostly.

So life has thrown many twists and turns. My Grandfather passed away and it really put things into perspective for me. I was not prepared for the gravity the loss of one of my primary connections would have on me. I never pictured life without him. He was so strong, I always sort of thought he would just last forever. So I have to say, this event really made me realize, and internalize the fact that everything on this physical plane is temporary. Anything you can touch can be destroyed. But the connections we make, the love we give and the kindness we extend, these things are eternal.

 It was truly amazing to see all the incredible connections my Grandpa had made in his life: how many beautiful stories we heard from all the people whose lives he touched just by being who he is. From his Children, to his friends, to the waitresses who served him at his favorite family eatery, everyone had a story about how Lorenzo Ribaudo touched their lives, made them laugh and treated them with kindness and respect. His motto was always, “treat people the way you would like to be treated and God will repay you Tenfold."

So often we scramble from objective to objective trying to achieve as much as we possibly can when it comes to our careers, fitness, status, etc. But the fact is, if we could just focus on our relationships many of our objectives would fall into place anyway, and possibly at an expedited pace.

Take my Grandpa. I am pretty sure his greatest goal in life was to meet and love as many people as he possibly could. He could talk to anyone. He was a man who would say hello to the workers in the sewers (manholes as we call them in Michigan..Is that just a Midwest thing?) when walking down the street. That literally happened. As he walked by them he would shout into the sewers, “Hey guys, how are you doing down there?” It didn’t matter if you were the CEO of a company or a man working underground, my Grandpa wanted to talk to you. He understood that the most important thing we can possibly do on this planet is to connect with each other.

Every success he had came as a result of his personal relationships and the fact that he had a deep, genuine desire to help his fellow human being. He really had his priorities in line. I think I need to remember this more. A lot of times I get down on myself because I feel I have not accomplished enough in my life, but I’ve had a lot of realizations lately and one of them has been that we leave this world with nothing except the love that we gave and received. I think I have done pretty well with this so far, but perhaps have lagged a bit on the love lately, getting wrapped up in the tangible world. I need to get back to people, and everything will come from there. Love for my fellow human being is my number one goal. If I have that, I have all.

All we have are our relationships. Every beautiful thing on this earth has come from a place of deep love and desire to feel more connected to each other, so if we can give into and honor that desire, that is when we will do our best work anyway. Good thought, right?

Something else I’d like to touch on is the way my Grandpa loved my Grandma and vice versa. They were married for 62 years and loved each other through each and every day of it. He always described the first time he saw her as an, “Out of body experience”, and said that he fell in love at first sight. He said he always thought love at first sight was a "bunch of bull", but then he saw my Grandma and changed his mind. He proposed to her on the second date, saying, “from the minute I saw her, I knew I had to marry her, if she’d have me.” I am pretty sure they got married only months after that.

Of course my Grandma was crazy about him too, (I’ll share part of a letter she wrote him for his 70th birthday at the end of this, and in a separate blog post, because it deserves it), they were truly soul mates. It was good to see and remember that true love does happen in the real world. As we go through dating and disappointments, it’s easy to become disillusioned and willing to settle for much less than we’ve dreamed of. Shouldn’t the fact that a love like this exists in real life encourage us to hold out for something greater than what we think possible? It did that for me.

Their love created five children and six Grandchildren.  They Built a house together. They Ran and built up their finances together. True love builds and grows, it does not destroy and shrink. It brings you happiness and comfort, not sadness and fear. Even through illness, cognitive issues, and, yes, wobbly times, my Grandparents had all the good parts of love, every moment they were together. Up until the last day my Grandpa would call my Grandma, his, “bride”.  Their love was amazingly beautiful, pure and honest.

There are really just so many amazing things about him that I could speak of, but the last one I will comment on here is how he always made people feel special. This is one idea that came up quite often through his funeral, that no matter who my Grandpa was talking to, he always made them feel like they were the special one. I think that is an incredibly important thing to do when interacting with others. It gives into that deeply human desire we all have to be seen, to be heard and to feel valuable. The people in our lives who shape us and make us better people, are incredibly precious gifts and deserve to be treated as such. Grandpa always made sure that everyone he loved knew he loved them. I will carry this lesson deep in my heart and nourish all that I know with the fruits of my knowledge.

Even though the loss of my Grandfather has left a gaping hole in my heart, the encouraging thing is that his legacy gets to live on in us. It’s exciting that his lessons have been understood and that because he taught us well, we will be able to carry on the spiritual riches he attained while on Earth. And being that I am a deeply spiritual person, I feel with every piece of who I am that my Grandpa will continue to find a way to be with us and protect us from a higher, more powerful place than any of us on this Earth could understand.

So this one’s for you, Lorenzo, may you rest in peace, and may your lessons live on in us. I will do everything in my power to make you proud. Love you forever.

Love,

Lauren :=) <-- This is how my Grandpa used to draw smiley faces on the handwritten cards he would give us at holidays and on our birthdays. Two nostrils, very important detail. I’ll miss it.


Part of a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa: 


Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible. 

*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren

A Short Blog About Love

There are certain people in this life who you’ll always love. And it doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. Nor does it mean you’re supposed to be together. It just means that they taught you something--that you gave them a piece of your humanity, and didn’t ask for it back. You weren’t greedy in your love, and neither were they. You may not be able to talk, or at least not talk much due to the nature of the way your relationship ended. And you’ll miss that friendship, but you know that’s the way it’s meant to be. And that’s sad, and that’s hard, but that’s life. And you know that if you saw each other you’d both just be looking in one another’s eyes for the person you used to be when you were together. Over time feelings fade, and people change, but you’re still grateful for what was, grateful for the special bond you had. The point is: True love is never lost. It is never wasted. It's just that it sometimes manifests differently than you expected, and as you grow, you learn that’s okay, too.

Love you.

Lo