Monday, February 11, 2013

Grandpa, A Life Of Love

Hello Friends,

This is going to be more of a bloggy-blog. I think. I just want to talk about where I’m at. Honesty is key. I want to talk about my Grandpa, mostly.

So life has thrown many twists and turns. My Grandfather passed away and it really put things into perspective for me. I was not prepared for the gravity the loss of one of my primary connections would have on me. I never pictured life without him. He was so strong, I always sort of thought he would just last forever. So I have to say, this event really made me realize, and internalize the fact that everything on this physical plane is temporary. Anything you can touch can be destroyed. But the connections we make, the love we give and the kindness we extend, these things are eternal.

 It was truly amazing to see all the incredible connections my Grandpa had made in his life: how many beautiful stories we heard from all the people whose lives he touched just by being who he is. From his Children, to his friends, to the waitresses who served him at his favorite family eatery, everyone had a story about how Lorenzo Ribaudo touched their lives, made them laugh and treated them with kindness and respect. His motto was always, “treat people the way you would like to be treated and God will repay you Tenfold."

So often we scramble from objective to objective trying to achieve as much as we possibly can when it comes to our careers, fitness, status, etc. But the fact is, if we could just focus on our relationships many of our objectives would fall into place anyway, and possibly at an expedited pace.

Take my Grandpa. I am pretty sure his greatest goal in life was to meet and love as many people as he possibly could. He could talk to anyone. He was a man who would say hello to the workers in the sewers (manholes as we call them in Michigan..Is that just a Midwest thing?) when walking down the street. That literally happened. As he walked by them he would shout into the sewers, “Hey guys, how are you doing down there?” It didn’t matter if you were the CEO of a company or a man working underground, my Grandpa wanted to talk to you. He understood that the most important thing we can possibly do on this planet is to connect with each other.

Every success he had came as a result of his personal relationships and the fact that he had a deep, genuine desire to help his fellow human being. He really had his priorities in line. I think I need to remember this more. A lot of times I get down on myself because I feel I have not accomplished enough in my life, but I’ve had a lot of realizations lately and one of them has been that we leave this world with nothing except the love that we gave and received. I think I have done pretty well with this so far, but perhaps have lagged a bit on the love lately, getting wrapped up in the tangible world. I need to get back to people, and everything will come from there. Love for my fellow human being is my number one goal. If I have that, I have all.

All we have are our relationships. Every beautiful thing on this earth has come from a place of deep love and desire to feel more connected to each other, so if we can give into and honor that desire, that is when we will do our best work anyway. Good thought, right?

Something else I’d like to touch on is the way my Grandpa loved my Grandma and vice versa. They were married for 62 years and loved each other through each and every day of it. He always described the first time he saw her as an, “Out of body experience”, and said that he fell in love at first sight. He said he always thought love at first sight was a "bunch of bull", but then he saw my Grandma and changed his mind. He proposed to her on the second date, saying, “from the minute I saw her, I knew I had to marry her, if she’d have me.” I am pretty sure they got married only months after that.

Of course my Grandma was crazy about him too, (I’ll share part of a letter she wrote him for his 70th birthday at the end of this, and in a separate blog post, because it deserves it), they were truly soul mates. It was good to see and remember that true love does happen in the real world. As we go through dating and disappointments, it’s easy to become disillusioned and willing to settle for much less than we’ve dreamed of. Shouldn’t the fact that a love like this exists in real life encourage us to hold out for something greater than what we think possible? It did that for me.

Their love created five children and six Grandchildren.  They Built a house together. They Ran and built up their finances together. True love builds and grows, it does not destroy and shrink. It brings you happiness and comfort, not sadness and fear. Even through illness, cognitive issues, and, yes, wobbly times, my Grandparents had all the good parts of love, every moment they were together. Up until the last day my Grandpa would call my Grandma, his, “bride”.  Their love was amazingly beautiful, pure and honest.

There are really just so many amazing things about him that I could speak of, but the last one I will comment on here is how he always made people feel special. This is one idea that came up quite often through his funeral, that no matter who my Grandpa was talking to, he always made them feel like they were the special one. I think that is an incredibly important thing to do when interacting with others. It gives into that deeply human desire we all have to be seen, to be heard and to feel valuable. The people in our lives who shape us and make us better people, are incredibly precious gifts and deserve to be treated as such. Grandpa always made sure that everyone he loved knew he loved them. I will carry this lesson deep in my heart and nourish all that I know with the fruits of my knowledge.

Even though the loss of my Grandfather has left a gaping hole in my heart, the encouraging thing is that his legacy gets to live on in us. It’s exciting that his lessons have been understood and that because he taught us well, we will be able to carry on the spiritual riches he attained while on Earth. And being that I am a deeply spiritual person, I feel with every piece of who I am that my Grandpa will continue to find a way to be with us and protect us from a higher, more powerful place than any of us on this Earth could understand.

So this one’s for you, Lorenzo, may you rest in peace, and may your lessons live on in us. I will do everything in my power to make you proud. Love you forever.

Love,

Lauren :=) <-- This is how my Grandpa used to draw smiley faces on the handwritten cards he would give us at holidays and on our birthdays. Two nostrils, very important detail. I’ll miss it.


Part of a note from my Grandma to my Grandpa: 


Dear Larry My One & Only,
When I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be change, but then, how could I have known, a love like ours happens only once in a lifetime. You are a miracle to me, the one I had ever dreamed of, the one I thought only existed in my imagination and when you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness, couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. The love we shared has brought us five wonderful children and five beautiful grandchildren* You are a part of everything I think, do and feel and with you by my side I believe that anything is possible. 

*Shout out to Robert Jr who came into the picture round 06 to make it six beautiful Grandchildren

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